Borderlands 2: Hyperion Strikes Back
by SidoRises
Summary: The story takes 2 months after the death of Handsome Jack. Hyperion rises again and a thief from Eden-5 decides to go to Pandora after seeing a bounty on TV. The character is based off of a character concept I thought of called the ranger but I never got to finishing it (Maybe in the future).
1. Prologue

Prologue – Kicking things off  
After the death of Jack the vault hunters hunted down the remaining Hyperion forces. What they didn't know was that a man named Ronald Jenkins thought of a plan to save their skins from the vault hunters. Jenkins bribed the bandits to dress up like Hyperion with the typical bait of booze, woman and more. Though what the bandits didn't know was that they were sealing their fate as they did that. The vault hunters thought they were killing off Hyperion but the truth was that they were killing bandits while the real Hyperion went into hiding for two months. They also never paid the bandits what they had promised them. In that time span, the Vault hunters went on various adventures from hunting down a giant creature with a sandworm for a tongue to find open a treasure room filled with loot to going on a Torguesplosive journey to take down a coward and open a vault located in a crater dubbed: The Badass Crater of Badassitude. Adventure after adventure the vault hunters were pretty happy, but Hyperion was still alive. They stayed hidden in the abandoned town of Opportunity, once a place that looked beautiful on the outside but it was ugly on the inside. Now, it was ugly on the outside. From there they got help from mercenaries which strengthened them. So in summary, Hyperion was getting stronger right under the Vault Hunters' noses. When they came back, they started controlling a majority of the planet with their massive army. The vault hunters weren't strong enough to take them head on but they managed to defend key areas like The Dust from their control. Hyperion began tinkering with the fast travel station to work only for their personnel. Ronald Jenkins became the man who brought Hyperion back on its feet as its feared leader due to his combat experience.

Later on, he decided to aim for the valuable element known as Eridium. He found an excellent use for it, being able to change anyone into ultimate warriors, or mutants if too much was used. He hunted for that element and used it on a group of Hyperion troopers. A select few were perfect since time and effort were put into 5 of his top men. Leslie Cheryl, Jackal "Wrecking" Ball, Colonel, Maximus Pride, and his advisor Shadric Norton (Also known as Shade). These were the select few he chose to transform into super warriors over a month. The experiments on the other troopers were rushed, causing many of them to mutate which had a few side effects. Imagine a goliath with a brain; that's what a few of the failed experiments became but they were still useful troopers. Jenkins trusted Shade at his side over any of his 5 troopers though, leaving the other 4 troopers to command different parts of his army. Ronald was prepared on both the offensive and defensive aspect. The vault hunters did their best to hold them off from the Dust which soon became the only place that wasn't controlled by Hyperion. Sanctuary was also Hyperion free but it wasn't a place that they really could get benefits from controlling. Though they still aimed at it because that is where the Vault Hunters sit when they are not doing anything.

Shade had other plans though, he was still loyal but he aimed for a vault which he would go for after the planet was fully controlled by Hyperion. Many rumors have been formed on how this vault was created but as well as rumors of it containing the power to change a mere mortal into an ultimately powerful being. Shade wanted that power himself but his loyalty was strong with Hyperion. If Ronald wanted any of it, Shade would obey Ronald. So time was ticking for the Vault Hunters and as they sat in Sanctuary, Ronald's forces were growing at a fast rate and more Eridium was becoming available to them.


	2. Chapter 1 Behind Bars

Chapter 1: Behind Bars

It was a noisy and aggressive atmosphere in the Eden-5 high security prison. Prisoners were swearing at others and fighting each other while the cops just sat back and watched. One cop walked to a cell where guitar music was being played. The cell was numbered 264 and the cop banged on the cell door.

"Sid you're free to go." said the officer. That moment, he stopped playing his guitar, put it on his arm with the attached guitar strap and stood up from the torn up mattress he was laying on. He was 6' tall, had white skin and was skinny; he wore a light tan cowboy outfit with a black shirt, black gloves and cowboy hat covered in hardware. He stared at the cop with his dark brown eyes, lifting his left eyebrow up.

"Are you fucking serious," asked Sid. "What moron would bail me out? Everyone hates me on this planet except-" Sid paused as he realized who could have done so. "Shit, keep me in this cell!"

"Why?" the officer asked.

"SID! HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO GET ARRESTED?" asked a booming female voice.

"That's why." he said pointing at a slim white skinned 5'7" girl with blonde hair that went down her neck, blue eyes, a lab coat, high heels and jeans. "Now I wish I was never bailed out. Being in prison gave me some time to practice playing my guitar in peace!"

"She already bailed you out, so start walking." said the officer. The girl walks in and pulls on Sid's ear to make him leave his cell.

"OW! That hurts like a bitch!" As she walked out with Sid, one of the prisoners looked right at her chest.

"That's a huge rack hot stuff!" Yelled a prisoner with a deep voice.

"Fuck off pervert!" Defended Sid flipping off the cell the voice came from. The girl continued to pull his ear, got into a small black car and drove off with Sid driving shotgun. As they entered, she let go and they said nothing to each other as they drove. They arrived to there house and Sid refused to walk out. She pulled at his ear again to make him leave the car.

"Sid, what am I going to do with you?" asked the girl in a disappointed voice.

"Let go of my friggin ear." yelled Sid. The girl stopped pulling and crossed her arms. "Veronica I can handle myself. I don't need to be told what I should or shouldn't do. I'm as responsible as… Yeah I got nothing."

"Sid I worry about you, I don't want you to end up like our parents," Veronica said. Sid held out on the rage that formed in his head as she mentioned their parents. "For your safety and for you to learn your lesson, I'm grounding you for a month."

"Are you shitting me? I'm 21 and your 18, you can't tell me what to do!" Veronica pulled at his ear again before he could continue ranting. "Ow, that shit hurts!"

"You're older but you don't act like it. I do all the work at home when it comes to cooking, cleaning, and taking care of our little brother, Mikey. Instead, you're too busy robbing every place you can find. I've bailed you out like 30 times already!"

"You mean 31 times," said Sid chuckling. She pulled harder at his ear, causing him to stop his laughter.

"If you want to taste my pancakes ever again, then you stay in your room mister," yelled Veronica.

"Yes MOOOOOOOM," said Sid in a sarcastic voice. When they came back home, they saw Mikey staring straight at the TV as a Torgue ad came up.

"Wanna be a badass motherf*****? Then buy a Torgue weapon! Blow up anything in your way because it makes you badass! Buy a Torgue today!"

"I love Mr. Torgue's ad," said the young 4'7" 10 year old boy with short black hair, dark brown eyes, a Torgue shirt covered in racing stripes, shorts and race themed socks.

"Mikey, don't let that get to your head, I don't want to see you blow up the house again like last year." Sid said.

"It wasn't my fault! I accidentally miscalibrated the fuse time!"

"You know this time Sid is right, stop making explosives Mikey." Veronica scolded.

"NEVERRRRR!" Yelled Mikey running upstairs.

"Oh well, maybe it'll come in handy at some point," said Sid. He went upstairs to see a small present on his bed. He read the tag.

"Dear Sid, I know I didn't get you anything on the 22 of March. I know it's kind of late but since you didn't get anything for your birthday, I made this for you! Don't worry I tested it out on some stray animals earlier! I think it caused one of the stray dogs to get run over on the street when a car was driving through at high speed. Anyways, it will work with your advanced sun glasses in your hat with its ability to block even the powerful rays of the sun! So enjoy!" Mikey had his signature on the note in large capitalized letters.

"I wonder what this could be." Sid tore open the box and saw a small box like device. "A box, what does he expect me to do with a box?" He looked deeper in the present to see if he could find anything else. He found a manual and skimmed through it in a few seconds. "So it works when I hit the button on it." Sid finds a button on the box, a small compartment opens on top and a small grenade pops out. "Let me read the manual again to figure out what this is." He looked at it again to find out it's a flash bang generator, digistructing flash bangs every 10 minutes. "Maybe this isn't such a bad device, I'll try it out later in case I get chased down by the cops." He placed it in his pocket, sat on his bed and turned on the TV. He skipped channels to see what they had on the Comedy Nexus. "There not showing the O'Mally show today? That sucks!" He skipped more channels until he saw a bounty on the galactic news.

"Breaking news," said a male voice from the TV. "A Bounty on a man named Ronald Jenkins has been created. The price on his head sits at $20 million! The bounty was formed by someone who wants to stay anonymous. He is currently stationed on the planet of Pandora!"

"$20 million? HOLY SHIT! And did they say Pandora? That planet is pretty close to Eden-5 if I remember what they told me in high school! This day can't get any better!" Before Sid celebrated with a beer he had stored in his cooler, Mikey accidentally detonated a miniature explosive downstairs.

"Mikey what did you do?" asked Veronica.

"N-Nothing…" Sid didn't care about what Mikey did but instead thought to himself.

"I got to get to the Interplanetary Travel Station and steal myself a ticket to get to the space station. I'd steal Veronica's car but I'd rather not get slapped a million times trying to do that." He packed up, drank the beer quickly, took his custom made Jakobs revolver, his reinforced Guitar, grabbed his Echo, and wrote a note on the bed in case Veronica found out he went missing. He then jumped out the window, falling into the lawn. Sid walked on the street and saw a man park his motorcycle to grab something in his house. "Well there's the vehicle I needed!" Sid checked the motorcycle to see if he left the key in the vehicle.

"Darn it, he took the key inside." Sid looked around to find a spot he could hide in to jump him when he comes back. "A bush, a little too small in my taste but I'll have to use it for now." He curled up into a ball-like shape with his revolver in his right hand, waiting for the man to come back. Seconds later, the man came back with the key in his pocket. Sid jumped out when he was right next to the motorcycle. "Give me those keys or I'll blow your head off!" He didn't pay any attention because he was actually deaf and did not see or feel any vibrations in the ground. "Hello? I have a revolver? Aiming at your head and stuff? Really?" Sid put his gun into his holster, removed his guitar from behind him and slammed it across the head of the man causing him to scream in pain. Though it was no ordinary hit to the face, not only did it hurt like a bitch, but it somehow caused his brain to reactivate his hearing. "Did you feel that?"

"Oh my god! I can hear again! I thought I'd have to go through that painful and expensive surgery but you fixed it! How can I repay you?" Sid realized he was deaf until that hit to the face.

"How about you give me your fucking motorcycle before I hit you again in the face to see if you become deaf again." The man gave him the keys and Sid jumped on the motorcycle. "See ya Biotch!" He drove at high speed trying to get to the station ASAP just in case the next ship to Pandora was leaving Eden-5's atmosphere soon. He drove at high speed until he was stopped by a police officer. "Fuck me!" He stopped the vehicle to avoid a gun fight with the officer.

"Son, do you know why I stopped you?" Said the officer.

"Let me guess… I know! Because you're an asshole! Now where's my prize for answering correctly?"

"Son step out of the vehicle," said the cop in an angered tone. "I don't like smart ass remarks and I'd rather make this ticket quick and painless instead of slow and painful but you're making it hard." Sid stayed in the vehicle and flipped the cop off. "Ok that tears it, hands behind your back!"

"Look officer, I'll get bailed a 32nd time on another day but now's not the time. So you either walk away or else." The officer takes his electric nightstick out and walks toward Sid. Sid stood up and thought real quickly. "This might be a great chance to test out Mikey's flash bang generator!" He took the grenade from earlier and clutched it in his right hand. "Before you fight me, I must warn you, you're about to lose." Sid hits a button on his hat and a pair of red sunglasses attached to the hat pop out, covering his eyes. "Your eyesight!" He threw the grenade down and the officer was blinded while Sid was perfectly fine, laughing. "I just realized that joke was a little close to those CSI: Evolved quotes, man I need to think of better material."

"I can't see! I can't see!" Sid walked up to the man and he hit him with his guitar behind the head. The cop passed out and Sid was thinking about having a little fun but because he thought he was low on time, he left the body there and he was about to drive away on his motorcycle. Before he drove, he turned on the radio on his Echo to see what song's there are. He is greeted by 'Won't Get Fooled Again' by The Who. Sid hits the button on his hat and his glasses retracted.

"This definitely feels like CSI: Evolved now." Sid changed the song to be greeted by another song but much worse.

"It's Friday, Friday…" Sid screamed in agony and pain but quickly turned off the radio in his echo.

"Where the hell is all the heavy metal music I listen to? I don't want to listen to this musical bullshit on the radio!" Sid was enraged and was about to drive until he heard the cop talk.

"When… I find you… I'm gonna make sure you stay in prison for a year!"

"Cut the butt crap officer, according to the grenade manual, you'll be blinded for 15 minutes so yeah peasoup!"

"Peasoup?"

"That's my favored line for saying goodbye to people." Sid drove off after that statement. After about 20 minutes of driving, Sid made it to the station, ran in, stole someone's ticket that was in the seating area for Pandora only to realize the person was actually going to Promethea after looking at the ticket, the man was just saying hi to someone else. "Oh great I grabbed the wrong ticket."

"5 minutes until the spaceship heading toward Pandora leaves Eden-5," said a man through the intercom. The passengers then entered the ship as they heard the intercom speak.

"Great, I have to find another way to sneak into that ship." Sid tried passing the ticket booth but a large, bald, muscular man was in charge. Sid decided to try smooth talking the man. "Sir my sister is on that ship and if I don't get on it, she might… Get killed by someone because she nags a lot!"

"I don't care. No ticket, no entry!"

"Dang it, I thought that would work," thought Sid. He attempted to pass anyway when the muscular man growled like a dog as he tried entering. Sid attempted to fight him but got punched multiple times in the face by the man instead.

"1 minute remaining until the ship to Pandora leaves," said the man through the intercom. Reinforcements started surrounding Sid as the guard beats Sid down. Sid quickly hit the flash bomb maker he has, covered his eyes with his arm and threw it at the floor. Everyone around Sid was blinded and Sid ran into the ship just in time as it launched 20 seconds later.

"Well that was close." Said Sid.

"Oh look, another merc." said a large man holding a rocket launcher in one hand.

"Oh god," Sid said, falling in fear and passing out.


	3. Chapter 2 To Pandora, A HO!

Chapter 2 To Pandora, A ho!

After Sid woke up not realizing he passed out in fear, he realized the men weren't hostile. The ship had already launched into space and he stood up.

"Wait you're not going to eat me," asked Sid.

"Nope, not sure about Charles though, he'll eat anything." Said one of the mercenaries. He was wearing a set of black Crimson Lance armor. Sid stood up but he was still a bit shaky.

The merc asked. "So what's your name?"

"Sid is the name, and recoil reduction is my game."

"Ahh. Call me Rick. What brings a pipsqueak like you to a ship heading to a dangerous planet like Pandora?"

"First of all, I'm not a pipsqueak. Second, I'm going to find the man known as Ronald Jenkins so I can kick his ass! And third, I'll collect the money from the bounty and… Hmm…you know what? I haven't really thought much after that." The mercenaries all laughed for an entire minute. "What's so funny?" Sid asked.

"We are all here for the bounty. What makes a pipsqueak like you think you'll have a chance?"

"No reduction, quick reflexes, and such," said Sid with a scared voice. The men laughed even more.

"You're going to need fire power," said a very large man with a bag filled with Torgue weaponry.

"You should of left that chew toy you call a weapon back at home," said another mercenary pointing at his Jakobs Revolver. The men burst into laughter making jokes at Sid. Sid felt a rage overwhelm his mind. He held his guitar, gripped it tightly and breathed heavily. "Oh look the pipsqueak is going to play us a song!" Sid hit the man with all his force on his the back of his head. The man spat blood and he growled. He took his coat off and gripped Sid around the neck. "Big mistake pipsqueak!"

"Can't… Breathe."

"Good! I get to snap your little neck like a tooth pick!" The man put more pressure on Sid's neck, cutting off any air to his lungs. Sid was losing consciousness and had no choice. He quickly pulled his revolver out and shot him right in the middle of his forehead. He dropped to the ground, cold, and Sid hit the ground, trying to catch his breathe.

"Bravo," said Rick, clapping slowly, "that's one less mercenary trying to go for Ronald's head. The rest of you will probably die from the bandits and wildlife."

"God I can't feel my neck," said Sid through heavy breathing, "and I'm not a pipsqueak! I'm 6 feet tall! How's that small?" Then an 8 foot mercenary stared at Sid with bloodshot eyes. "Ok! I'm a pipsqueak! Don't hurt me!" Sid's teeth chattered as the mercs laughed harder.

"We are entering Pandora's orbit," said the intercom, "we will land in about 3 minutes."

"Wow that was fast." Said Sid.

"Actually it was 3 hours, you just passed out." Said Rick.

"Oh, well that's embarrassing."

At the Hyperion base located in both sections of the Arid Nexus, they detected the ship entering their airspace.

"Ronald, an unidentified aircraft is located nearby," said an Engineer. "Shall I send them a warning through radio?"

"No, it's probably the Vault Hunters, blow them sky fucking hiiiiiiiigh! Yeaaaaaah!" The engineers locked onto the ship with the cannons and fired. The ship blew into flames, heading to the Eridium Blight. Ronald watched from one of the surveyor cameras, scouting the Hyperion owned property.

"Shit! Shit! Shit! What do I do?" Sid yelled in fear.

"We are about to hit the ground hard pipsqueak," said Rick, "get ready for anything when this ship hits the floor!"

The ship then crashed into one of the bandit camps in the Eridium Blight.

"That was beautiful. Now send troops to the Eridium Blight, I want to see those Vault Hunters in my grasp! I'm not paying you troops to stand here and do nothing!"

"You don't pay us though." Said one of the Engineers. Ronald shot the engineer in the knee. "Owww! Why'd you do that for?"

"Remember rule one, don't be a smartass." Said Ronald with a sadistic smile.

"Sir we've detected large amounts of Eridium in Windshear Waste." Yelled one of the Hyperion scientists.

"My god." Said Jenkins with a happy face. That smile disappeared 5 seconds later but it broke his smile record of 2 seconds aside from his sadistic smiles. "Alright, I'll be heading there now. When I come back this place better not be in the shitter or I'll be very pissed. And you guys know what I do when I'm pissed." He loaded his gun and all the workers and troopers looked at him with a frightened silence. "Don't worry about backup; I'll be bringing Shade and a few elite troops with me also. I'll be back in an hour so bye for now!"

Back at the Eridium Blight, everyone was on the floor aside from Rick who was shooting each of the mercenaries in the head. Sid was barely awake and pulled his revolver out. Rick quickly ran to him and curb stomped Sid in the face, giving him a chance to kick the gun away. Sid lost his vision for a few seconds but when he regained it, he saw that Rick aimed the gun at him.

"Sorry pipsqueak, this is the end of the line. I have to eliminate the competition so that I'll get the money in the end; any last requests?" Sid takes out a picture of his sister and little brother.

"Find these two back at Eden-5 and tell my sister she's a bitch who needs to learn to shut up," said Sid laughing, "but tell her to take care of Mikey."

"Noted," says Rick. His finger is about to pull the trigger and the sound of a pistol firing enters Sid's ears. He looks at his chest but sees no bullet wound. He looks back at Rick to see he was shot in the chest. Sid smiles while flipping Rick off as he falls to the ground but fails to realize that he was shot by Hyperion troopers who were running in. They noticed Sid flipping Rick off.

"One of those bandits is still alive," yelled one of the troopers. "Get him!" Sid quickly put the pictures back in his pocket. He then got up and ran in the opposite direction while in massive pain. He fell off a 10 foot high cliff, rolling down the rigid surface until he hit the ground. Sid's black shirt, jeans and coat were all torn up and his face was covered in cuts and blood. The troopers searched the bodies to see they weren't vault hunters, just a bunch of dead men who were loaded to the brim. Afterwards, they stared at Sid's body from above.

"Should we go down there to check if he's dead?" Asked one of the troopers.

"Nah I'd rather not waste my bullets or time on him," said another trooper, "the Bullymongs will get to him in time. Now let's get to the fast travel and head to the Arid Nexus before the bandits show up too. We are standing in a bandit camp after all." After the troopers began to leave, scavengers came out of the small buildings and searched the dead mercenaries for guns. Sid, however, was still alive and kicking. He slowly stood up, trying to keep his balance.

"I can barely feel my anything." Sid whispered to himself.

Sid quickly thought about the bounty on the news. "Those troopers might now a thing or two about Ronald Jenkins. I better chase them down because they might lead me to my $20 million." Sid, while trying his best to ignore the pain, quickly followed the soldiers and hid behind a rock as they used the fast travel station. As they all teleported away, Sid tried using the fast travel station but a female voice spoke out of it.

"Hyperion authorization necessary." Said the voice. It scanned Sid up and down and recognized him as a bandit. "Unauthorized Bandit detected! Dispatching loaders." 3 Gun loaders were digistructed through the fast travel station.

"Deactivating first law." One of the loaders said. Sid quickly shot them with his revolver but the bullets just ricocheted right off.

"Fantastic!" Yelled Sid with sarcasm. The loaders opened fire with Hyperion smgs and Sid quickly evaded them. Sid hits the button on his hat, covering his eyes with his glasses. He turned on its critical mode to see if these enemies had any weak points. The eyes were highlighted as well as their joints. Sid aimed for the eye, cracking them and shutting the loaders down. "Boom headshot!…or eyeshot in this case." Sid quickly thought that since those bots were sent out by the fast travel, they're basically Hyperion. "Maybe if I let the station scan the loader, I can go through!" He pushed the heavy loader in front of the scanner and tried activating it again.

"Hyperion authorization necessary." The machine scanned the loader and recognized it as Hyperion personnel. "Hello loader number 9002, what destination would you like to enter today?" The interface changed showing the locations and Sid looked at them.

"They mentioned something about the Arid Nexus so I'll head there." He clicked the Arid Nexus and was sucked in. "AHHHHHHHH I CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING AT ALL THIS TIME!" The station spilt him into atoms and rebuilt his body when he reached the other end. He hit the ground hard and found himself at one of the rooms in the Hyperion HQ. "Ow…I felt that. Wait I felt that! I can feel my body again!" He touched himself a bit and failed to realize Hyperion personal watching him.

"It's that bandit from the Eridium Blight," said one of the soldiers, "and he's touching himself! Get him!"

"Oh god you saw me do that?" Said Sid with an embarrassed face. "Oh well I'd have to kill you anyway." Sid quickly hit the button on his hat for his glasses and evaded the enemy fire. Their heads were highlighted red as his critical vision activated and Sid quickly aimed at one of their heads and fired. He repeated that process till one trooper was left. He wounded the last trooper in the knee to ask him a question. "Wow, 7 guys in 3 seconds. That's like a new record! Now have you heard of this Ronald Jenkins asshole?"

"He's our boss and he's heading to Windshear Waste to collect some Eridium," Said the trooper in a frightened voice. "Don't shoot me please"

"Thank you, and by the way." Sid shot him in the head. "I don't do requests. Oh god that sounded so lame. Note to self, think of better one-liners. Also, I should never touch myself to see if I have feeling in my body since I realize it's creepy and there could be witnesses. Now it's time to hunt me a Ronald Jenkins!"


	4. Chapter 3 End of the Road

Chapter 3 End of the road

Sid held the dead Hyperion engineer in his hands but saw a few more troopers in the distance not paying attention to him. Sid thought for a minute. "Maybe before I go for Ronald, I should blow this place to smithereens." Sid went on a killing spree, murdering every single trooper and scientist in his sight. He took his guitar and started gorily smashing the heads of the personnel, splattering blood across the ground and walls. He smashed the computers and devices causing many explosions that would make even Mr. Torgue proud. The HQ was basically destroyed and Sid felt happy for what he'd done. "Man, I remember I couldn't go on such fun killing sprees back on Eden-5. I never even killed a single person back on that planet. That was a hell of fun though. Now it's time to head to Windshear Waste!" Sid carried one of the bloodied up Hyperion scientists and activated the fast travel.

"Hyperion authorization required." Said the voice. It scanned the body that Sid was holding up. "Hello scientist 101! What location would you like to go to?"

"Wow I didn't even know they numbered their employees," said Sid. "I thought they'd be called their actual names. Oh well." Sid hit Windshear Waste on the Fast Travel station and got teleported again, losing his feeling until he was teleported into a small room. "Ok now to find Ronald." Sid walked out of the room and saw it was a cold and snowy climate. He could see his own breath and felt really chilly, though he ignored it the best he could. He saw footsteps in the ground and followed them thinking he'd find Ronald. He heard something from a distance.

"Ok troopers, I want you to start digging around." Said Ronald. "The scanners picked up a lot of Eridium buried here. Funny thing is I never bothered to check when I took this place over. Good thing those upgraded surveyors pick up traces of Eridium. Now if you excuse me I'll be heading back to the HQ with Shade." Sid ran back to the Fast Travel and headed to the HQ.

"Wait I forgot I need a Hyperion trooper to teleport!" Sid face palmed himself and waited for them to head back. He heard the station get used twice and thought of a plan. "There's an engineer over there with no one next to him. Fantastic! All I have to do is knock him out and then I'll use his body for the scanner." He ran back and silently removed the helmet of one of the engineers and wrapped his arms around his neck. He put pressure on his neck, cutting of air for the engineer. The engineer struggled and did his best to scream and shout about a bandit was in this area but Sid put all his strength in that neck hold. "Shhh quiet I just need your body for the fast travel." Sid slipped on the snowy ground and snapped the neck of the engineer. "Well that works too." Sid pulled the dead body of the engineer and went through another long process to teleport back to the HQ in the Arid Nexus. When he got there he heard Ronald yelling.

"Damn it I told them not to let this place go to the shitter!" Yelled Ronald. "Who could have done this?" Sid came in playing a sad tune with his guitar. Ronald turned around and saw Sid. Ronald wore a black set of Hyperion armor with a hat that looked close to Bison's out of Street Fighter but in a black and yellow color. He had short, curly, black hair with white skin and red eyes. He also was 6'4' and had a medium build.

"Like what I did with the place? I did it just for you." Sid said with a smile while playing his guitar.

"A smartass ehh? Alright time to put you in your place like all the fuckers who have messed with me in the past." Yelled Ronald. He quickly pulled out his Butcher but Sid shot it out of his hands with his revolver.

"In my handbook, being a smartass is a top priority." Said Sid, laughing.

"Is that so," asked Ronald. "Well that's my number one rule your breaking." Ronald cracked his knuckles as Sid aimed his revolver at his head. "Let's do this! RONAAAAAAAAALD! JEEEEEEENKIIIIIIINS!" Sid pulled the trigger but Ronald covered his head with his armored arms which blocked the shot. He quickly punched Sid's gun out of his hands and kicked it away. He quickly threw punches at Sid causing Sid to start spitting blood.

"You're one tough son of a bitch you know that," yelled Sid.

"I wouldn't be the leader if I wasn't tough." Said Ronald. "I may not have quick reflexes but I don't have noodles for arms like you."

"Hey it's not my fault, my metabolism is fast." Argued Sid. Sid then realized he still had his guitar and he pulled it out quickly and hit Ronald a couple times in the head with it. He continued doing so causing Ronald to start bleeding from the head. Then Ronald started evading his hits. Sid focused on aiming his hits rather than flailing the guitar around. Sid didn't realize someone was right behind him. Ronald was on the ground and noticed something before Sid began beating him down with the guitar.

"Shade," yelled Ronald, "so glad to see you join us today!" Sid quickly turned around but was stabbed in the ribs by a large red blade made from the skin of a crystallisk. Sid's eyes widened as the blade stabbed through. He dropped to the ground from the massive pain and Ronald held him up. "You see what happens when you fuck with me? You die. Just like that. Now then, it's time to change HQ's. But first, let me deal with this little shit." A 5'7" slim built trooper with Hyperion Assassin armor and a Hyperion Soldier helmet with a large red dot where the eyes should be removed the blade from Sid's ribs. Sid let out a scream of pain and Ronald curb stomped him in the ribs, picked up his revolver and shot Sid in the joints to make sure he wouldn't be standing up for a while. Sid was screaming in intense pain and Ronald pointed the gun at his head.

"I detect the Vault Hunters in the building." Said Shade in a quiet voice.

"Fucking great," said Ronald, "I'll let this little bitch bleed to death since it's more painful, for now let's head to the fast travel station." The two teleported through the fast travel and Sid tried standing up but fell in massive pain. Tears from the pain he suffered dripped from his eyes.

"Crud. I'm losing blood fast." Sid tried standing again but the pain wouldn't let him. "Damn it!" Sid took out a picture of his sister Veronica and Mikey. "Veronica, if only you could hear me right now. I wish I listened to you more often, now I'm paying for it. I just hope Mikey doesn't blow the house up again. Oh well, this is where it all ends for me." Sid heard voices away but he began losing consciousness from the blood loss. He closed his eyes and the pictures fell from his hand. The five vault hunters ran in and saw the bloody mess in here.

"Aww everyone's dead already." Said a deep male voice with a Spanish accent. "I wanted to kill all these Hyperion bastardos."

"No kidding Sal, it looks like a blood bath in here." Said a mature female voice.

"Looks like we missed all the fun." Said a male gruff voice.

"But I wanted to shoot someone." Said Salvador.

"Next time old friend." Said a digital voice.

"Hold on guys, one of these guys doesn't look like any of the other Hyperion guys." Said a young female voice.

"I bet you it's a bandit." Said the gruff voice.

"When does a bandit wear a cowboy outfit?" Said the young voice.

"Gaige he's probably dead by now." Said the gruff voice. Gaige checked for a pulse in Sid's chest.

"He's still alive but the pulse is weak," yelled Gaige, "and what if he isn't a bandit Axton?"

"Then we wouldn't have to deal with a gunfight back at Sanctuary but if he is-"

"Look I'll take full responsibility for him ok?" Asked Gaige. "If anything goes wrong, I'll deal with it."

"I still say he's a bandit." Said Axton. "Plus he might just bleed out looking at the cut before we make it to Dust."

"Maya can you try focusing your phaselock on that cut?" Asked Gaige.

"I'll try." Said Maya.

"Maybe he is a bandit." Said Salvador.

"Look if he's just a bandit we can just kill him but if not then he's not." Argued Gaige. Gaige looked at the pictures the man dropped and the bloody guitar in near him, she picked them up and brought them to the car. Zero and Salvador carried Sid to the car and Maya did her best to use her phaselock on the wound to try slowing the blood down. They ran to the Technical, pushed the man in the back and rushed to the dust, driving as fast as they could. They had to deal with some bandits and bullymongs as they drove through the Eridium Blight but they got to the dust, rushed to Ellie's garage and used the fast travel to get to Sanctuary. There they got Dr. Zed to stitch the wound the stranger had in his rib.

"Looks like he aint wakin' up for a while." Said Dr. Zed. "He did lose quite a lot of blood so it was good you brought him as soon as you did. Ya'll better find somethin' to do while he's out like a light bulb."

"Actually I'll watch him for you Zed." Said Gaige. "In case he tries to pull anything funny, I have to take care of him."

"If something grows out of his wound, run to Moxxi's bar cause that's where I'll be." Said Zed.

"Thanks Zed." Gaige said with a smile. She sat on the right of Sid, staring at him.

"I can tell this is already going to be a little dull." She said to herself.


	5. Chapter 4 A Rude Awakening

Chapter 4 A rude awakening

Gaige was starting to doze off from the boredom of watching the man. She laid her head on the bed while Sid was undergoing a nightmare. He and his siblings were captured by Ronald Jenkins. Sid was being held back by two Hyperion troopers while his sister was on the ground looking beat up and Mikey was tied to a chair with grenades. "Let them go! They did nothing to you or your shitty army!"

"Ahh but I love making my victims suffer," said Ronald lighting a cigar. "You killed many of my personnel and destroyed my HQ so this is the perfect way of payback." He takes out Sid's revolver and aims it at Veronica's head. "Troopers, keep his eyes open. I want him to watch every second of this." The troopers kept his eyelids open and Ronald pulled the trigger. Veronica's blood splattered the ground as Ronald laughed.

"NO YOU FUCKER!" Sid tried breaking the hold of the two troopers but he couldn't. "I SWEAR WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I'LL FUCKING CHOKE YOU LIFELESSLY! YOU HEAR ME?"

"Your hatred feeds me," Jenkins said grinning. "And now for your little brother Mikey," said Ronald pulling out a detonator for the grenades. "He's going to go out with a bang!" Ronald hit the button on the trigger and Mikey exploded into nothing but bits and blood.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH," screamed Sid waking up from his nightmare. Gaige woke up scared after Sid screamed.

"God you almost gave me a heart attack," said Gaige with a scared expression.

"Sorry, I had a nightmare." He looked around to see the young girl right next to him. "Are you supposed to be my hot nurse?" Sid giggled a bit after that comment.

"What? No!" Gaige blushed a bit as he said that. "I was assigned to watch you while you slept in case you were actually a bandit. By the way, who are you? I've never seen you in any of the safer areas of this planet so I'm guessing you're not from here."

"You guessed right. Anyways I'm Sid, I'm 21 years old and I live in Eden-5. I came here because of a $20 million bounty on the man named Ronald Jenkins. My original plan was to enter Pandora, find him, kill him, and come back to collect my reward. But instead, I got stabbed in the chest and here I am now waking up to a hot nurse." Sid chuckled again and Gaige felt awkward.

"I'm not a nurse!"

"Alright I'll stop joking about it. Anyways, tell me about yourself."

"Well my name is Gaige, I'm 18, I lived on Eden-5 but I left after the whole science fair incident where my science project, or flying torso of pure awesomeness, made Marcie Holloway… explode. Mr. Holloway wanted me behind bars after that day but I bought a ticket to Pandora and here I am now."

"Wait a second. You're that girl that echo casted about that science fair?"

"Yes I am," she said smiling. "I'm guessing you listened to my echo casts."

"Yes I did. It was kind of cruddy to see not many people listened to them until the last one, they were interesting in my opinion and I watched all of them. I think Marcie deserved it though."

"Thank you and yes she did," she said. "Well it's getting late so I'm heading to my room to sleep. It was great meeting you Sid."

"Wait, is there any other bedrooms that are open because this bed is pretty uncomfortable."

"Well there's Dr. Tannis' old room. She left Sanctuary a week ago to research some of the new vaults that are popping up on Pandora."

"I have no idea on what you're talking about," he said.

"We have to play a game of catch up tomorrow since you're completely clueless. Need any help getting up?" Sid tried standing up but the pain from his broken ribs kept him down.

"I'm guessing my ribs weren't fixed up, I only got stitched up."

"Sadly yes, Zed was more worried about stopping the cut and then he'd deal with the broken ribs some other time."

"Well, the pain in the upper left side of my chest is way too painful. So I need a hand." She wrapped her robotic arm around Sid's shoulder and held him up. She guided him to a small house with an emptied out room with nothing but a trashcan and bed inside. "You sure someone used to live in here? It looks like no one even lived in here for ages."

"When she left, she literally took everything she had. Apparently it was all for research. I question that statement because since when does a poster of a giant fish have anything with research?"

"I see your point, and thanks for helping me here."

"I just hope your pain gets better."

"Thanks nurse," said Sid laughing.

"Oh stop it," she said. "Anyways goodnight Sid."

"Alright, night." She left to her room and Sid took his hat off and placed it on the floor exposing his medium length black hair. He laid his head on the pillow and closed his eyes. During his slumber, he had another nightmare where he was on the floor in a mysterious room. "Where the hell am I?" He looked around to see Shade in the far distance. Sid looked for his revolver in his holster but it was gone. "God dang it!" He looked back to see he was gone but then he turned around to see Shade right in front of him.

"Surprise!" Shade stabbed Sid right where he was stabbed last time. Sid's eyes widened as he fell to the floor. Shade continued stabbing him over and over as Sid screamed in pain. Sid quickly woke up breathing heavily and looked at the cut in his shirt to see it was still stitched up.

"Just another nightmare." He looked out the window to see it was day. Sid tried to stand up to see the pain wasn't as bad as it was yesterday. He slowly stood up, grabbed his hat and placed it on his head. Sid walked outside to be rudely greeted by Axton.

"Bandit," said Axton.

"First off I'm not a bandit, and second, who the hell are you?"

"My name is Axton, bandit."

"Stop calling me bandit before I kick you…" He pauses as Axton aimed a Slag Veruc at Sid.

"Start walking," said Axton. Sid walked as Axton held the gun against Sid's back. As much as Sid wanted to kick his ass, he did have a gun pointed at him and he didn't want to cause too much trouble. Sid was taken to Axton's room where he was strapped to a chair. "Alright so tell me. What bandit clan are you from?"

"What kind of question is that," asked Sid.

"Answer the question," Axton aimed the gun at his head.

"Sorry to tell you but I'm not a bandit," said Sid. "Now can you let me go?"

"I know your hiding it. Gaige might not see it but I do. I've never seen you anywhere on this planet so you're a bandit."

"I'm from Eden-5 moron. I arrived yesterday after dealing with a lot of crud."

"Enough sidetracking, now answer my question!"

"Ok I'll answer your stupid question again. I'm not a bandit so get that through your thick skull."

"Tell me right now bandit. I'm losing my patience!"

"What the hell is with all the yelling," yelled Maya.

"I'm dealing with this bandit, he won't answer my question," said Axton.

"I'm not a bandit! Let me go!"

"Axton I can understand why you wouldn't trust someone new but isn't that taking it a little far?"

"No Maya it isn't! I bet you if I let him go, he'd try shooting all of us when he gets the chance!"

"I'd try convincing him but his stupidity prevents me from doing so," said Sid.

"Axton let him go. He seems harmless and if he does try anything, then we deal with him." Axton sighed.

"Alright fine, I'm watching you bandit." Axton unstrapped him from the chair, watching him carefully.

"Thank you. From what the asshole called you, you're Maya?"

"Hey," yelled Axton.

"Yes I'm Maya, and you are?"

"I'm Sid. Thanks for helping me out there; I thought he was going to shoot me pretty soon."

"Axton doesn't trust people. He didn't trust us when he met me and the others for the first time."

"Well that explains a lot." Sid stopped as the pain in his chest worsened. "I forgot I needed to see Zed to fix my ribs. I'll see you later Maya." She waved goodbye and Sid went back to Zed's clinic. He saw him sharpening his buzz axe which frightened Sid a bit. "Are you Dr. Zed?"

"Yes, you're that guy that the vault hunters brought to me yesterday to patch your cut up. What can I do for ya?"

"I still have a few broken ribs from the blade I had jabbed through me; could you give me some treatment?"

"Lay on the bed and I'll see what I can do," he said.

"Great so are you going to use sleeping gas on me or something close to that?"

"Sleeping gas? Are you kidding me? Only certified doctors have permission to use that kind of stuff."

"Wait what?" Zed knocked Sid out with an elbow to the face. He opened him up where he had the stitches and started operating on Sid's ribs. He fixed them up and sealed his cut up with stitches. An hour later, Sid woke up to see Gaige next to him again.

"Morning Sid," she said in a cheerful tone.

"Hey there hot nurse," he said.

"Stop calling me that, I'm not a nurse."

"But you're still hot." She blushed as he said that but she stayed silent. "Anyways I need an ice pack. That elbow to the face Zed gave me felt like a mule kick."

"Alright then, give me a few minutes." Sid sat up and searched his pocket for the picture of his siblings. He didn't find them and started freaking out a bit.

"Oh no don't tell me they're on the floor in whatever's left of that Hyperion HQ." He searched his pockets again but yet again they weren't there. "Great. That picture was when my sister wasn't a bitch to me. Oh well." Gaige came in with a bag of ice.

"Here you go," she said passing it to Sid. She saw his disappointed expression. "What's wrong with you?"

"I left my pictures back at the Hyperion HQ. I wouldn't care about that guitar too much but those were memories I won't be able to see again."

"That reminds me! I originally came here to tell you that I grabbed your pictures and your guitar while we were there."

"I owe you three, two for the pictures and one for the guitar."

"You can start off by not calling me a nurse. I am a woman of science and ass kickery, not a nurse."

"Alright Gaige."

"I'll think about the other two things you can do for me some other time. Now I'll grab your things real quickly before I start modifying DeathTrap a bit." She ran to her room and after 2 minutes, she came back with the pictures in one hand and the guitar in her robotic arm. "Here you are." Sid grabbed the pictures, placed them in his pocket and put the guitar on his back.

"You're too kind," he said smiling.

"I'll be in my room if anyone needs me." She walked out of the building and Sid walked back to his room.

"Well this is boring as hell. I might just go to sleep." Right before Sid was going to close his eyes, his Echo rumbled. "Huh? Someone contacted me on Echo, I have to see this." As he pulls his Echo out, an expression of fear grew on his face. "It can't be! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" On the Echo it was Veronica calling. Sid answered the Echo call.

"SID WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!?"

"I'm on a planet called Pandora. I have a good reason for it though."

"I DON'T CARE WHY YOU LEFT! YOU DISOBEYED ME AND LEFT ME TO TAKE CARE OF MIKEY!"

"So you read my note?"

"No, a cop confronted me earlier today about looking for a man who disobeyed him and assaulted him. The drawn picture looked like you, I checked your room and you weren't there. I didn't even realize there was a note there."

"There was."

"Right now I'm too angry to even care! When I see you I'm slapping you as hard as I can! Yet again you've proven to me that you're irresponsible!"

"I really don't care, I did it for…"

"Shut it! I don't want to hear your stupid reason!" At that instant Sid hung up on Veronica and tried calling Mikey.

"Hello? Sid is that you?"

"Yes Mikey it is. Do me a solid and when you see Veronica drink a beverage, grab some liquor called Knockout from the wine cellar down in the basement."

"But Sid she's only 18, she's not supposed to be drinking."

"When I come back, I promise you I'll buy you some Torgue products." At that moment, Mikey was ready to do almost anything for Sid as if he was being brainwashed.

"WHERE DO I START?"

"Like I said, grab some alcohol and pour enough in her beverage. Then you're done."

"How much exactly?"

"Enough, now I have some guitar practice I have to attend to after I lost my will to sleep. Goodbye"

"Don't worry I'll do it. FOR TORRRGUE!" Sid closed the call and began fiddling with his guitar strings. Gaige walked into Sid's room with a few oil smudges on her face from messing with DeathTrap. "There's some stuff on your face," he said.

"Yeah I forgot to wipe my face when I finished with DT." Sid licked his thumb and rubbed it on the smudges. They were gone a few seconds later.

"There you go; you look good as new! Well aside from the bandages on you."

"Those were cuts I had from making DT. I think they finally healed up but I never bothered taking them off." Sid pulled off the one on her face and her arm.

"I don't see any scars or cuts. It looks like you were never even cut in the first place." Sid threw the bandages into a small trash can. "Anyways why are you here?"

"Well I wanted to grab some breakfast after messing with DeathTrap's laser. Want to come?"

"Sure I guess." She takes Sid to Moxxi's bar and he takes a look at the menu. "I don't even know any of the things on the menu."

"Trust me, you'll get used to the stuff here. I remember I never even wanted to take a bite out of anything this place had. But it's much better tasting than it looks."

"What can I get for you sugar," asked Moxxi to Gaige.

"I'll order two stalker sandwiches, one for me and the other for my friend here." Gaige placed 10 dollars on the counter for the two orders.

"No problem sugar, and if you want something extra you should talk to me sometime sugar."

"Did she try flirting with me," asked Sid.

"Yeah she does that a lot. Her name is Moxxi and she's had more boyfriends and girlfriends then the amount of fingers a normal person would have."

"That sounds disgusting," he said.

"Even if she tends to flirt with others, she runs this bar so if you ever need a good drink or something to eat, this is where you'd go. She actually used to run an Underdome until it was destroyed by Handsome Jack."

"Who the hell is Jack?"

"Well Jack was the original leader of Hyperion until we all killed him after he opened a vault containing a warrior that would have destroyed everything if it wasn't for me and the Vault Hunters. Jenkins took his place afterwards saving Hyperion from dying."

"Maybe you should give me a book on all this so I could understand everything better."

"When I have some free time, I'll think about writing a quick summary on what you need to know." Moxxi came back with a plate that had two sandwiches. Sid looked under the top slice of bread to see a flattened stalker head under it.

"Well at least I know what a stalker looks like," he said. Gaige started eating hers slowly and Sid stared at his.

"Aren't you going to eat your sandwich," she asked.

"It looks really weird so I'm not sure."

"Just take a bite out of it. Surely it can't hurt you." Sid bit a small piece out of it and enjoyed the taste.

"Wow your right! This isn't half bad." Sid made obnoxious noises eating his sandwich luring everyone's attention to himself. After he finished, he noticed everyone staring. "Things just got awkward." Sid slowly walked out acting like nothing happened and ran to his room after he was outside. Gaige tried to stop him but he ran too fast. She followed him to his room.

"What was that all about," she asked.

"Sorry, I never expected that thing to be good at all," he said with an embarrassed look. "Next time you order me that, we are eating in private."

"Alright, I'll see you around," she said walking away. Sid began tuning his strings again and began practicing by playing a cheerful song. He thought to himself as he did so.

"I'm not sure whether to say this day is going great or horrible. Gaige did make my day a lot better but after getting hit in the face by a doctor, waking up from a nightmare and being stared at by everyone in the bar, I'm not so sure anymore."


	6. Chapter 5 GTKTPAB

Chapter 5 Getting to know the place a bit

After a few hours of fiddling with his guitar, Sid finally felt tired and was about to close his eyes to be rudely interrupted by his Echo rumbling.

"Again? Are you kidding me?" He checks it to see Veronica trying to Echo again. "I thought I told Mikey to get her drunk. Yet she's still calling me. Darn it Mikey." He picked it up in fear yet again.

"Sid I'm sorry for being such a bitch to you in the past," said Veronica in a drunken tone. "I'm sorry for all the things I've done, especially smacking you back at the prison. You know what? You're ungrounded and all that shit." Sid's face had worsened as he heard her say that.

"Yeah I'm going to call you later." Sid hung up and tried Echoing Mikey. After a call was established Sid took a deep breathe.

"What's up broham?"

"Mikey, how much of that alcohol did you put in her beverage?"

"Well Sid, she was drinking 4 cups of lemonade earlier which was enough for me to use up half the bottle! Impressed?"

"No Mikey, you gave her too much! That's liquor! That shit is powerful for a person like me! What has she done after she drank it?"

"Well… She tried messing with one of the grenades I made. As in she pulled the pin."

"WHAT! IS THE HOUSE OK?"

"Yes thank god. I didn't jam the explosives in it yet so it was a dud. Did you hear about that Torgue grenade competition? Whoever makes the best grenade gets to meet Torgue in person! And there grenade gets to be sold by the Torgue Company!"

"Now's not the time for that. What else did she do?"

"Well she puked about 3 times, almost passed out and she took her shirt off."

"OH GOD NO!"

"Don't worry she had her bra on! And I closed the curtains just so that no one would look."

"MIKEY YOU IDIOT! YOU'RE LUCKY YOU'RE MY LITTLE BROTHER OR I'D SMACK THE HELL OUT OF YOU!"

"I-I'm sorry but you never specified!"

"Your right, it's my fault. Make sure she doesn't do anything crazy and isolate her in the house! It'll be a while for the booze to wear off."

"Got it!" Sid ended the call and face palmed himself.

"I am an idiot. Shows me how much of a 'responsible' brother I am. Veronica is always right." He sighed and Gaige came into his room.

"Hey Sid," she said in a cheerful voice.

"Hey Gaige," he said in an irritated tone.

"What's wrong with you? I'd expect you to be a little happier. Is it about what happened earlier?"

"I'll explain later, it's not because of you or anything that happened here though. Anyways you need me for anything?"

"Looking at the time, it's almost lunch so I was going to order some pizza with the other Vault Hunters. I'm just curious if you wanted to come and chat for a bit."

"Well I got nothing better to do so I accept. What kind of pizza are we talking about?"

"I'm ordering cheese for you and me if you're ok with that," she said.

"Yes I am," said Sid standing up from the bed. Him and Gaige walked to Moxxi's bar and ordered a large cheese pizza for $15. The other Vault Hunters ordered their own pizza with different toppings. Sid didn't recognize two of the Vault Hunters. "Hey Gaige, who's the muscular midget and the ninja guy?"

"Salvador is the midget. He makes all of us feel uncomfortable though so I avoid being next to him. Aside from that he likes shooting and killing things most of the time. Then there's the assassin Zero; he talks in really short sentences, haikus and sometimes not at all. He tends to disappear and reappear when you least expect it and we aren't even sure if he's human or not. Though he is a great sniper and is great with that sword he has."

"Ok. That's not weird at all," said Sid in sarcasm. Moxxi came back placing the pizzas on the counter. Everyone but Zero grabbed a box. "Just to avoid what happened last time, I'd prefer eating somewhere more private."

"Yeah I'd rather not see something like that happen again," said Gaige. "How about my house?"

"Sure. I don't see why not." Sid grabbed the pizza and followed Gaige. He entered the entrance and placed the pizza on the steel table. Gaige went to the fridge and took out 2 cold cans of soda pop while Sid opened the box up and took a slice out. He sat on the chair and started chomping down on the pizza. Gaige was eating it at a slow speed compared to Sid eating at a fast pace. In only two minutes, Sid ate 4 slices which was half the pizza and Gaige ate only 1.

"Wow you ate them way too fast," she said.

"Trust me, when it's my sister's pancakes or pizza, I'll eat them in no time." Sid opened up the can and chugged the cold drink down his throat while Gaige was on her second slice. She left to slices in the box and pushed it in the fridge for another day.

"Well that was tasty," she said wiping the sauce off her hands. "So do you want to talk about anything or would you rather fiddle with your guitar in your room?"

"Like what?"

"About ourselves."

"Sure? What do you want to know first?"

"Remember when you woke up from that nightmare yesterday? What was it about?"

"I don't normally talk about my nightmares. Not even with my siblings but I'll tell you. Before I woke up, I had a nightmare of the Hyperion leader named Ronald Jenkins killing my only sibling's right in front of me. Later that day I had another nightmare of his assassin named Shade stabbing again where I was stabbed last time."

"Ouch. Speaking of Hyperion, whatever happened back at the Hyperion HQ?"

"Jenkins left the building and I went on a killing spree while he was gone. After the place was nothing but an empty shell filled with blood and broken machinery, I went after him. He went to Windshear Waste then came back to the HQ to see what I've done. I and he got into a brutal fight and that was when Shade stabbed me."

"And that's when the Vault Hunters and I found you. If it wasn't for me, you would have probably been left there since Axton thought you were a bandit."

"He was wrong, I'm no bandit," he said.

"I never thought you were one but I did promise them I'd watch you when you woke up in case you tried to pull something funny."

"So because of you, I'm still alive and kicking?"

"Yep, and Maya since she did phaselock your cut to help stop the bleeding."

"Thanks then. You're a life saver. Tell Maya I said thanks since I would probably forget about telling her."

"Alright. Anyways tell me a little more about yourself."

"I didn't go over how I loved accuracy. Of course I never found a way to improve the cruddy accuracy of my guns but I did improve my recoil reduction through implants. My sister was trying to find a way to modify any gun's accuracy when I had it wielded but she never did. How about you?"

"Well you already know I love science since you listened to my Echos," she said smiling.

"Yes and how you liked your Dad's hot cocoa," he said.

"I miss my Dad and his hot cocoa but the whole science fair incident compromised that. What's Eden-5 been like without me?"

"Holloway got gunned down a month ago and the corrupt police force got fixed up by some tin man. The police force began turning from corrupt to actually good."

"That's awesome news!"

"Yes it is. Anymore questions?"

"You didn't really tell me about your family," she said. At that moment, a dark look came across Sid's face. "Okay maybe I shouldn't have asked that question."

"I'll tell you. My young 10 year old brother is named Mikey. He is obsessed with the Torgue Company and creating explosives, which lead to our house being blown up last year. Though he made me this nifty flash bang generator!" Sid raised the device in his right hand to show it. Gaige grabbed it observing the small device.

"That's pretty impressive craftsmanship right there." She passed it back to Sid and he placed it near his empty leather holster.

"Then there's my naggy sister Veronica. Like you she's a bit of a science nut and when I need some upgrades, I talk to her. Though she usually bugs me about all the stuff I do or she smacks me across my face since I'm 'Irresponsible'."

"Ouch. Why would you be irresponsible?"

"Well I'm a notorious thief back at Eden-5. It's just so thrilling to be chased down by the cops and it clears my mind."

"You don't seem like the criminal type," she said smiling. "You look pretty innocent to be honest."

"I've never killed anyone while I did my crimes. I just stole money and maybe I'd wound a few people and throw a few threats."

"What motivates you to even steal?" Sid froze as she said that. "Sid? Are you alright?"

"Yes. I am. And now it's time to talk about my parents." A tear dripped from Sid's right eye. "The last day I saw my parents was when I was 17." Sid closed his eyes as a flashback occurred in his mind.

"You don't care about us! You only visit us for like a week then you leave for a year! You call that love? NO! That isn't love!"

"Sid I'm sorry but I'm needed at the Dahl Military and so is your mother. If I could spend time with you I would but I can't. I'm sorry."

"Dad I fucking hate you! You don't care about Mikey, or Veronica! You don't care about anything! I don't want to see you or my mother here again because you don't give two shits about us!" An awkward silence filled the house as he said that.

"I'm tired of fighting over this," his father said in an angry tone. "Goodbye Sid, I hope I don't see you as well. You were not the son I gave birth to 17 years ago. You're a fucking monster." He began walking away holding his wife's hand and Sid flipped him off as well as his mother as they walked out of the house. A day later, a stranger visits the door of their house and knocks.

"Hello?" Sid ran down stairs to see who it was. He saw the mysterious man in Dahl clothing. "Oh great a fucking Dahl army man. What do you want?"

"I have some news you won't enjoy. Alicia Syncia and Jon Syncia who are your parents died 24 hours ago. They were killed in a gun fight with the Atlas troops back on Pandora. Sadly I would tell you more but it's confidential at this time." Sid dropped to his knees as tears dripped from his eyes. "I'm sorry for your loss. Your father was an honorable general and I'll always remember the fights me and him shared." The man left while Sid was frozen on the floor.

"My… Parents…" The feeling of guilt filled his mind after the things he said to his parents. He thought of them hating him after that day. He screamed in tears of anguish, waking up his younger siblings.

"Sid what's wrong?" Said Veronica waking up after hearing his tears.

"Our… Parents…" He choked on his words but Veronica knew what he was going to say. Tears filled her eyes as they hugged each other.

"What's with all the noise," said Mikey walking down the stairs. Sid couldn't stop crying so Veronica calmed down a bit to lie to Mikey about what happened so he wouldn't freak out.

"Our parents are… Going to vacation… Without us… For a long time…"

"Aww that sucks. Why are your faces all wet with water?"

"We miss them…"

"Ok, night guys!" Sid finally came back to reality with a frozen expression of fear across his face.

"Sid? Snap out of it!" Yelled Gaige in a worried tone. "Please say something; you're starting to scare me." Tears filled Sid's eyes as he fell to the floor. "Sid what's wrong?"

"They hate me… They hate me… They hate me! THEY FUCKING HATE ME!" Gaige shook Sid.

"Sid please tell me what's wrong, I can help you." Sid finally regained composure as he stood up.

"My parents… Were Dahl Military… They're no longer with me… The last time I saw them… We got into a fight and my Dad called me a monster. The guilt roams my mind, knowing that they hate me. When they say something they mean it. Then they died from Atlas. THEY DIED HATING ME!"

"I-I should have never asked that question. I'm really sorry Sid." A saddening look came across her face and Sid looked at her.

"Don't blame yourself. It's all my fault and now the guilt haunts me in my sleep."

"Come again?" She asked.

"After that day, the guilt transforms into my fears in my dreams, leading to the harsh nightmares I go through. Like that night at Dr. Zed's. I saw my siblings die in front of me by Jenkins. And when I woke up today, I woke up from his assassin stabbing me in my stitched wound. Both of those are fears that come in my mind."

"I feel really bad for you then. Someone should never go through that every day of their life."

"Whatever. Sad thing about this chat is I've never told anyone about those inner feelings. Not even my siblings."

"Why wouldn't you seek help from your family?"

"I don't know. Maybe because I don't want them to worry about me so much. Something holds me back from telling my sister about it. I'd tell Mikey but after he was told a year after they died, he was devastated. I wouldn't want to make him remember that since he had so much trouble sleeping."

"Oh."

"And now to answer what's my motive. That event is. It really helps clear my mind from this agony so I get to relax through the day but in the night it taunts me."

"If there's anything you want me to do to make you feel better than just ask."

"Sorry hot nurse, not even your looks can cure this illness," he said laughing. Gaige blushed as he said that, changing her worried look into an embarrassed one.

"Just because you're not in the best mood, I'll let that pass."

"I'll be going now. Goodbye Gaige."

"See you later Sid." He walked out of the building and went straight into his room. He fell asleep 2 hours later forgetting about dinner. His nightmare was of Jenkins beating the living hell out of him. He was on the floor in what's left of the Hyperion HQ getting punched over and over again by Jenkins.

"How does it feel fucker? This is what happens when you mess with the Jenkins!" A minute later, Sid couldn't feel his face and he was beginning to lose consciousness. Jenkins pulled out Sid's revolver and pressed it against Sid's forehead. "Time to avenge those souls you took!" He pulled the trigger and yet again Sid wakes up breathing heavily. He woke up surprised as he saw Gaige standing in front of him.

"What are you doing here?"

"I bought you and me a stalker sandwich. You weren't awake so I just waited here for about 4 minutes. From the way you woke up, you must have had another nightmare."

"Jenkins shooting me in the head after beating me down." He said. "That was the nightmare."

"Well if this sandwich doesn't cheer you up I don't know what will." Sid chomped his sandwich it down as Gaige ate hers slowly. "Do you feel better?"

"Just a little." He said. Then a man wearing a mix of casual clothing and Crimson Lance armor walked into Sid's room.

"Are you Sid?" Asked the man.

"Yes I am. Why?"

"Two guests arrived here. They mentioned your name."

"Bring them here," The man walked out of the room and a familiar voice enters Sid's ears.

"Sid? Is that you?"

"Mikey?" Sid's little brother ran in and hugged him. "Great to see you here! But wait… If you're here that means-"

"SID!" Veronica walked into the room with an extremely angry voice. She then notices the stitches Sid had on his ribs. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Well I got stabbed by an assassin so I got stitched up back at Dr. Zeds place.

"Are you feeling ok?" She asked in a worried tone.

"Yep, my ribs are all fixed up."

"Good!" She then smacked Sid as hard as she can on his left cheek.

"OW!"

"That was for leaving us when you were supposed to be grounded!" Then she slapped him again on his right cheek.

"What the hell!?"

"That was for the alcohol! Mikey told me everything!" Sid glared at Mikey.

"She knew something was up so I had to tell her the truth after she woke up or she'd throw my Torgue products away! I'm sorry Sid!"

"What the hell are you guys even doing here?"

"Knowing you, I'm not going to let you roam this planet alone," she said crossing her arms. "Someone on the plane told me about Sanctuary so when we landed at the station at the Dust, he took us here. I was lucky to find you here."

"You were lucky to not get your ship shot down like mine was."

"What? We are going to talk later." She then notices the orange haired girl next to him. "Who's the girl?"

"Veronica this is Gaige. I already talked about you so no need to introduce. I forgot to mention your love for your girly ponies though."

"It's nice to meet you," Gaige said giving Veronica a handshake with her normal arm.

"Why is she here with you though?" Asked Veronica.

"She's my hot nurse; she's supposed to take care of me."

"Don't call me that in front of people Sid." She said with an embarrassed look.

"Ok. Anyways make room because we are moving in." Said Veronica, bringing in her luggage.

"Great!" Said Sid with a sarcastic tone.


	7. Chapter 6 One Big Mother

Chapter 6 One Big Mother…

Mikey and Veronica unpacked where the left half of the room was covered in pink and pony decorations while the left side of the room was covered in race stripes and Torgue posters. Sid was astonished on how fast the room changed. Gaige just sat on the bed listening to their conversation.

"Fantastic, I had a nice room all to myself and now it's all gone." said Sid looking at the newly decorated room.

"Get over it Sid, there's still a little bit of space for you to decorate." said Veronica pointing over at the wall behind the bed.

"Screw that, I'm moving out." He said with an angry tone.

"Before you go, that luggage over there is yours. I had the courtesy to pack your stuff before I left. Also in the morning we are going to talk about what has happened since a game of catch up is necessary, especially why you left Eden-5 for here."

"Veronica I left here because of a bounty on this one guy named Jenkins. And-"

"That bounty on the News." She asked with a curious face.

"That's the one! How'd you know?"

"Well that bounty was a prank by a bandit from what they've found out. Apparently a bandit managed to contact the news telling them about this bounty as a practical joke. What's a bandit anyways?" Sid's face grew red with anger.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? I HAVE TO DEAL WITH SOME ASSHOLES ON THE SHIP, I GET BLOWN OUT OF THE SKY, STABBED AND IT WAS FOR NOTHING!?"

"Pretty much," she said. "That's the price of being irresponsible."

"FUUUCK! STUPID! FUCKING IDIOTS! HOW COULD THEY BE FOOLED LIKE THAT?" Veronica was laughing until Sid gave her a frightening glare. She stopped as she had a frightening look on her face as Sid still stared. "ARE YOU DONE?"

"Y-Yes I am Sid. S-Sorry." For the first time, Veronica was afraid of Sid when it's supposed to be the other way around.

"GOOD!" He continued raging as Veronica cowered in fear. Gaige looked a little worried as Sid continued while Mikey watched calmly. "I HATE THIS! I HATE EVERYONE WHO DID THIS! I FEEL LIKE A FOOL!"

"Sid calm down!" yelled Gaige. As he heard her voice, he began gaining composure.

"I'm sorry. It's just that I only came here for that money. And to find out it was a horrible practical joke, I felt this trip was almost a waste of time."

"Almost," asked Veronica, "What do you mean by 'Almost'? You did say you had a crap ton of bad things from this journey, but you still think coming here was worth it."

"Well there was that killing spree I went on. Those Hyperion assholes had it coming though. Especially the troopers that saw me touching myself." He paused as he realized what he said. Gaige and Veronica burst out in laughter and Sid had an embarrassed look on his face. "I shouldn't have said that."

"Why were you touching yourself," Veronica said trying to hold back the laughter.

"Have used a fast travel yet?"

"Yes I have Sid."

"Well when I first used it I just wanted to check if I had feeling in my body. That's why I did it."

"Well since I lost my feeling when I used it I believe you, but that's still kind of weird."

"Hey guys, why were you laughing when Sid said he touched himself?"

"We will tell you when you're older Mikey." said Veronica.

"All I did was rub my arms and my chest to make sure I did have feeling in those! Nothing else!" argued Sid.

"Alright let's get off this topic, it's a little awkward talking about this." said Gaige while she giggled.

"Anything else you want to say Sid." asked Veronica.

"Yes the other reason going to this planet isn't bad is… You know what I'll keep that to myself."

"Ok then, I also finally finished these for you." She handed him a pair of fingerless black gloves and Sid took of his regular set of gloves and slid them on.

"What are these for." he asked scratching his head.

"Take your revolver out and you'll see."

"I… Kind of lost it…" Sid looked depressed at the thought of losing his prized weapon. Veronica passed him an already loaded rusty Dahl Repeater and two extra magazines. "Where'd you get this?"

"Remember why I told Mikey to stay away from the basement?"

"No. You never told me why."

"Well it's because there's a small armory of weapons down there. I found this rusty pistol with the rest of the weapons there." Sid's mouth watered at the thought of the amount of guns he could find.

"Why didn't you ever tell me about this?!"

"I thought I told you but it must have slipped my mind from all the stress from me breaking you out of prison pretty much 2 times a week…"

"Oh whatever. Just show me the guns from the basement!" Sid was excited to see what kinds of guns would be there.

"They're back at home which I don't plan on going back to for a while." Sid grumbled, took his luggage and sat outside in the front. Veronica thought to herself for a second about Gaige. "That was strange how she calmed Sid down so quickly. I wonder." Sid tightly gripped the rusty pistol and aimed it at the sky. Suddenly, the glove on his right hand covered his fingers and it covered the gun in black. The gun began to glow a greenish color after it was fully covered.

"What the hell?" Sid fired a burst and noticed it was perfectly accurate. "Oh my god, she finally made them!" Veronica walked out and smiled as he saw Sid in a happier mood. He stood up and hugged his sister. "Thanks for the accuracy gloves."

"You're welcome. I know it was a bit late and I promised them 2 months ago but after many failed attempts and working day and night, I finally perfected these. They react when you tightly grip a gun in your hands but it requires energy to keep the gun accurate so you'll notice your gloves will retract to its regular state as it recharges."

"How long exactly do they last." Asked Sid looking at the gloves.

"They last a minute and the charge is about 4 minutes. I will be improving how they work here and there since it's still in the prototype stage. But for now, the glove basically fuses with your gun and increases the accuracy by a high percentage. Combine that with your recoil implants and you'll never miss a thing pretty much. I'd like to call this a late birthday present. Anyways I'll chat with you later; I have to read about some stuff." The glove finally went back to normal after she finished her sentence.

"And by stuff you mean ponies and girly things right?" She just walked away, not answering the question. "I'll take that as a yes. Now I have to figure the hell out where I'm going to sleep tonight since I cannot live in a room with a demolition expert and an ultra-nag that loves ponies." Gaige walked out of what was Sid's room and sat next to him.

"We should talk about things you wanted to know before I get busy with DT."

"Right, start with the current situation of Jenkins since I'd like to know a bit about him."

* * *

While they talked with each other, 5 men were walking in the dust.

"Why the fuck are we even here Shade." said a mid-pitched voice.

"Because I'm looking for someone named Dr. Tannis. She's been looking around for the Vault of the Creator."

"Wait. Jenkins doesn't know about this does he." asked the same man.

"No Leslie. It's for my personal gain."

"Then why should we help you, if Jenkins found out, he'd skin us alive. Hell he'd probably do something much worse than that." yelled Leslie.

"Maybe if we got something from this Vault, I'd help." said a calm voice.

"How about I don't kill you when I become almighty and powerful Pride," argued Shade.

"You're just jealous of my beautiful face."

"Hahaha I'd rather have huge muscles then a pretty face." argued a very dumb and deep voice.

"Yeah Jackal, I'd prefer using steroids and having a small dick then having a beautiful face." argued Pride.

"You kidding me? It's 20 inches! I can even show you!"

"NO NO NO NO! We are fine Jackal. We believe you. You don't need to show us your… Johnson."

"Good!"

"Let's get on task. I want that Vault and the first step is getting the information on it. That loon Dr. Tannis has been researching the Vault around the dust so when we capture her, we will just interrogate the notes out of her if she doesn't comply. Then it'll only leave one more issue. The key."

"Wouldn't we need a siren?" asked Leslie.

"I'll deal with that easily." said Shade smiling under his helmet. "And if Jenkins does find out, he won't punish us since were the only men that have a brain in his Hyperion army. He'd most likely take the key but give us a warning or something."

"But what's in it for us?" questioned Pride. "What makes you think we are going to let you take the power of this supposed 'Vault of the Creator' instead of giving it to anyone else like me! I mean I am the prettiest."

"Enough bragging about your looks!" yelled Shade. "And it's because my skill is above all of yours."

"Right! I could crush you in seconds ninja!" Jackal stared at Shade after that comment.

"This blade would pierce you. This blade is made of pure crystallisk skin covered in a red paint coating. This is the only blade made of that material in Pandora due to the difficulty of getting the skin. It is the hardest material you know. Regardless, I am the perfect candidate being the ultimate assassin."

"Coming from the guy who almost got killed with his last fight with Zero." Shade ignored that remark as his head filled with anger from that battle.

"Will you help me," asked Shade one last time.

"Alright we will help you, but Jenkins can't know." said all of the generals but Shade and another one.

"Boooooooo I nominate myself as the guy who takes in the power of the Vault." said the final general.

"Colonel, shut the fuck up." said Leslie silencing him.

"Everyone's echo off, right?" asked Shade. They all nodded. "Good. I can't have Jenkins eavesdropping through those. Anyways Pride, send your surveyors out to find the bitch." Pride digistructed a swarm of surveyors as they scouted the area. After a few minutes a surveyor came back.

"Find anything?" asked Pride.

"Unknown heat signature detected, what are your orders?" asked the surveyor.

"Take us to it." demanded Pride. They followed the surveyor to the old abandoned church to find her on the floor, talking to chairs.

"Well you see Mr. Chair. I've been looking into some symbols in the dust. From decrypting, it may be possible that there's another Vault on Pandora. But the vault hasn't surfaced yet. What have you been doing?" She was silent as she thought the chair was talking. She laughed, thinking the inanimate object told a joke.

"Wow you're right, she is a loon. Why would we need her?" Leslie scratched his head.

"I think she is acting perfectly fine!" said Colonel.

"Of course you would!" said Leslie with sarcasm.

"She is insane but smart at the same time." said Shade. "Now let's nab her."

"What are we going to tell Jenkins?" asked Jackal. "We grabbed a crazy bitch for the Vault?"

"No. We will say she has information on the crimson raiders and there plan. Then we shall interrogate her for the info on the Vault and any info about the raiders."

"Alright Shade. Surveyors! Capture her!" She turned around to see the surveyors swarming around her as they grab her with a blue beam of energy. 4 surveyors fired a beam of blue energy at her and picked her up as they gripped each of her limbs.

"Let me go you incompetent fools!" Yelled Dr. Tannis.

"For being incompetent, we just captured you. Let me introduce myself. I'm Shadric Norton. And I want information on the vault."

"I won't tell you about anything! You fools wouldn't understand the combination of complexity this Vault even if I talked like you idiotic baboons."

"Very well. We will beat it out of you." Shade ordered them to head back to Opportunity, which for now was the HQ of Hyperion after the event in the Nexus.

"Hey guys, I'll be dealing with protecting the underground base in the Eridium Blight today." said Jackal.

"Very Well Jackal." replied Shade. "Everyone else, let's move."

* * *

Back at Sanctuary, Gaige had finished telling Sid about her adventures, the sirens, eridium, Jenkins and so on.

"Any questions?" asked Gaige.

"Not really. I feel like I just went through school again." Sid's stomach grumbled. "Actually one question. Want to go eat pizza because I'm starving."

"Now that you mention it, sure." Gaige smiled and Sid ran to the bar. Sid's luggage was left in front of Sid's former room. After the usual process of ordering the pizza, they ran back to Gaige's house. Sid sat near the table and opened the box. He ate four slices while Gaige ate only two. Then Sid ran to the fridge to grab a can of soda pop. Sadly, there was only one can left.

"Bah she won't mind if I have it. I think. I'll go ask just in case." She walked back to Gaige.

"Why didn't you bring me a can?" asked Gaige in an irritated voice.

"There was only one left." said Sid in defense.

"Oh. Can you let me have some?"

"Fine." Sid opened it and gave it to Gaige. She drank some of it and passed it back to Sid. He didn't bother drinking it.

"Are you going to drink it or not?"

"No. You've already contaminated it with your cooties." Sid chuckled after saying that.

"Don't be so immature Sid."

"What? Too harsh?" Sid drank the can up and threw it in the nearby trash bin.

"Anyways I'll be working on DT for the rest of the day. So if you need me, I'll be in my basement." Gaige walked downstairs and Sid went outside to see Axton, Zero and Salvador chatting with each other.

"Rumors say a Hyperion general is stationed at the Eridium Blight." said Axton. "I can guess from what Hyperion has thrown at us in the past is that this will be a cake walk."

"I bet you he is! He's probably not some giant monster thing or something." said Salvador.

"Do not jinx this up/ remember last time you did/ it was terrible." said Zero.

"So what if I was wrong about Saturn? You sliced him up! If I'm right, it couldn't be too bad!"

"Anyways, make sure to bring extra ammo in your SDU's incase we encounter a lot of bullymongs or Hyperion troops. He won't be alone for sure."

"Axton, I don't need ammo! I'm the gunzerker!"

"Right." After he was done, Sid was still eavesdropping and Axton was checking his ammo. "You can stop hiding now Bandit."

"How the hell did you know I was here?"

"Dahl military experience. I'm guessing you heard about our plan to strike the blight."

"Yeah. I want some revenge after getting stabbed. Killing some Hyperion will be good payback."

"Well don't be surprised when Salvador kills everything before you can. He tends to do that when he hasn't killed in a while." The 4 regroup at the dust where Axton digistructs a Bandit Technical which compared to the runners looked like something from the junkyard. They drove to the blight with Axton in the front, Salvador on the turret, and Sid in the back. Zero was in the back but he disappeared.

"Where'd Zero go?" asked Sid, scratching his head as he looked around to see he was nonexistent.

"Don't worry, he does that a lot." replied Axton. They stopped at the blight and sat back in the car, keeping watch for any activity in the area. The area was barren, filled with many craters and Bullymong nests. Zero reappeared in the back and Sid wondered to himself how he did so. Though he was more curious why they were just sitting there, doing nothing.

"Why are we just sitting here?" asked Sid.

"Yeah! I want to kill things Axton!"

"We have to see the damn general before we can kill him Sal. So we are going to sit here until he pops up."

"So were going to wait here in this bright green hunk of junk?" said Sid looking at the rusty car.

"Are you ashamed to be in a Pandorian classic?" asked Axton.

"This is a classic?"

"It's a classic."

"Yeah, a classic piece of shit." After Sid finished his sentence, a large bullymong with a tie and barrels attached to his back jumped in front of the car. "Uh guys? What's that?"

"That my friend is a bullymong and it isn't just any bullymong," said Axton, "It's Donkey Mong!" The hunters jumped from the Technical as the large beast threw his barrels at the car. Axton and Sid ran as they shot at the beast while Zero was slashing at him and Salvador was shooting him up with an Unkempt Harold. The bullets didn't scratch the beast too much but Zero's slashes were cutting him up quite a bit. Cuts appeared across his chest and right as he tried to punch Zero, he evaded with a back flip. Then for some reason, Donkey Mong began running and screaming away from the hunters. "Ha! That'll teach him!"

"Hey Axe…" whispered Sid in a scared voice.

"If I see you in the blight again, I'll rip that tie right off your neck and I'll strangle you with it!" threatened Axton.

"AXTON!" yelled Sid.

"What Bandit?" He slowly turned around to see the larger bullymong breathing down on Axton. "Oh shit! King Mong!" The large beast beat his chest and was about to attack the 4 hunters until a large thud was heard as something large jumped on King Mong. A large man wearing Hyperion armor came straight from the sky; he held a massive hammer, stood 20 feet tall, had an extremely massive body and wore basic Hyperion trooper armor that was enlarged and was covered in black with yellow stripes on the sides of his arms. He smashed his hammer on the bullymong's head as it splattered the floor and blood fountained out of where its head used to be. The colossal Hyperion trooper lifted the hammer and rested it on his right shoulder.

"General Jackal Ball at your service. But you may call me the Wrecking ball!" Zero, Sid and Axton glared at Salvador.

"What did I do?" asked Salvador.

"What you said earlier became a reality. Great job."

"Shut up Axton!" yelled Salvador. "We can kill him easy! Just watch! Gunzerk engaged!" He pulled out two Unkempt Harold's and began firing right at the large general. The bullets did nothing to the armor and Jackal slammed the hammer down, causing Salvador to fly backwards. "He may have really strong armor but we can take him, right?" The Vault hunters ran while Salvador stood there with his guns aiming at the general.

"I'll give you a 5 second head start midget." said Jackal, lifting his hammer up. Salvador began to run away as he began slowly walking toward them. They ran to the Technical surrounded by barrels and Jackal jumped right on the car, causing it to explode under his boots.

"We're screwed!" Screamed Sid.

"Not yet bandit," yelled Axton, shooting at the general. He ignored the bullets and slammed the hammer down near them, pushing them back into a large crater. A disgusting smell entered Sid's nose as he stood up and breathed through his nostrils.

"What smells like something died without showering for a year?" Asked Sid, pinching his nostrils with his hand.

"That my amigo is bullymong shit." Replied Salvador. Axton noticed the multiple nests around the pile of dung and made him think for a second.

"Hey Sal, remember when Hammerlock was telling us about bullymongs and other shit about animals?"

"Not really."

"Well I remember him telling us about male bullymongs being attracted to female shit. It's like an aphrodisiac."

"Dude! That's disgusting!" said Sid.

"Whatever you say bandit. Anyways the female basically covers herself in the stuff and the bullymongs are attracted to her sexually. They also are aroused by the scent of the stuff so when you see a bunch of bullymong nests around a pile of shit, it's female shit."

"That's great to know Axton!" said Sid sarcastically.

"Shut it! I'm not finished bandit! Anyways maybe if we cover this asshole with it, their instincts will make them think he's a female."

"Oh god I can see where this is going." Said Sid laughing. Jackal jumped into the pit and flexed his muscles.

"Nowhere to run! Prepare to be crushed and eaten later!"

"Not if I eat you first pendejo!" Yelled Salvador. Sid shot the pile of feces at Jackal as he was distracted.

"What the hell is this brown stuff?"

"Bullymong shit." Replied Sid. The bullymongs jumped out and stared at the man, the scent aroused them and their instincts kicked in. The multiple bullymongs jumped on him and began humping the general, attempting to integrate with him.

"Aww what is this white stuff! Get these god damn monkeys off of me!" The vault hunters laughed uncontrollably and Zero had an XD hologram over his faceplate. "There raping me! STOP IT!" He began hitting the bullymongs on him but too many were attempting to "integrate" with him, giving the hunters time to escape.

"Hold on I got to record this!" Said Sid taking his echo out. "This is so going on the O'Mally show!" He hit the record button and the other vault hunters laugh there asses off as more and more bullymongs raped him. They humped his body over and over again, leaving Jackals armor covered in semen. "Ok that's… HAHAHAHA!" Sid fell to the floor laughing. "HAHAHAHAHAH! Oh my god! This is comedy gold!" He began laughing more and more silently as he calmed down..

"Are you done bandit?" asked Axton trying to hold back the laughter.

"Kinda." said Sid who was still giggling. After 5 minutes of raw footage, he uploaded it to EchoTube and sent it to the O'Mally show's EchoTube channel to see if it's shown today on the show. They all climbed out of the crater and ran away to the nearest Catch-A-Ride station in the Blight which were completely ignored by Hyperion even if they'd pose a threat to them somehow.

"When I find you tiny people, I'll break all of you!"

"Peasoup victim o' bullyrape!" said Sid flipping him from the back of the Technical. They drove back to The Dust and used the fast travel. They returned to Sanctuary, still laughing from there adventure in the blight.

"That was hysterical! We should do funny stuff like that more often!" said Salvador still laughing from the thought of it.

"It was most pleasing/ Laughing at his misery/ Play it again Sid."

"At least you call me Sid unlike someone." Sid glared right at Axton.

"I still don't think you're from Eden-5 bandit."

"Anyways we can watch it later, I need a shower. I smell like bullymong shit. Must have hit my coat at some point. Thank god they were more focused on raping Jackal then me!" They all laughed as they split away from eachother. "Seriously I do need a shower." He smelled himself a second time and cringed afterwards. "I'll see if Gaige has a shower I could use or something."


	8. Chapter 7 The Show Has Just Begun

Chapter 7

Sid walked down into Gaige's small home and went into the basement.

"Gaige? Hello? You there?" As he walked in; he saw Gaige on the floor with her goggles on; asleep.

"No Deathtrap… Attack the goliath… Not the midget…" Sid walked toward her and carried her in his arms.

"I'm going to guess the bedroom is upstairs." He carefully walked up the stairs to be on the ground level room. Then he walked up another flight of stairs next to the stairs to the basement. The door to her room was open and was covered in red paint while the walls were covered by anarchy posters, pictures of shock weapons and a blueprint for the original DT. He saw the bed which has a blanket covered in black and lightning pictures. He carefully laid her on the bed, positioning the pillow under her head.

"Anarchy… Forever… And ever…"

"Does she sleep talk like this all the time?" He looked around the room even more to see a closet, a large dresser on the right side of the bed, and a small basic bathroom. "There's the shower I needed!" He closed the door as the sound of the shower went through the room. Gaige finally woke up slowly and sat on the bed. She pulled her goggles up and was curious why she was in her room rather than her basement.

"What the… Why am I here in my bed? And who the hell is in my shower?" She took her Thunderball fists from her SDU and opened the door slowly. She saw Sid sitting on the toilet pulling his boots off. "What are you doing here?"

"Well… I was going to ask you if I could use your shower since I smell like crap after the whole incident at the blight."

"Wait. What happened at the blight?"

"We were looking for the Hyperion general and we found him, but his armor was strong enough to ignore our bullets. We fell into a bullymong pit and shot bullymong crap at him. Then other bullymongs… Integrated with him."

"That sounds gross."

"It was quite hilarious. You had to be there."

"Right… Anyways why didn't you ask me?"

"You were asleep and by the way you sleep talk."

"No I don't!"

"You said 'Anarchy forever and ever' as well as 'No Deathtrap. Attack the goliath. Not the midget.'"

"Ok maybe I sleep talk a little."

"Then you were talking about some cute boy."

"What?! Oh my god I really do sleep talk!"

"I was kidding with that one."

"Oh. Uh yeah! I uh. Was just kidding too!" She nervously laughed thinking that Sid would buy it.

"I know you're lying."

"Darn. Anyways use the shower, just let me leave first."

"You smell like you need a shower too. You reek of motor oil right now."

"I was messing with the force of DT's attacks so of course I'm going to smell like that. Anyways I'll get you a towel."

"Do me a solid and bring my luggage here, it has my other clothing since I'm not wearing my cowboy outfit until it's cleaned."

"Alright Sid."

"You know when you're done with that, you could hop into the shower with me." Gaige was silent as an awkward look grew on her face. She blushed as Sid was laughing a bit. "I was only joking!"

"I'm going now!" She ran out of the bathroom as Sid still chuckled.

"Don't pretend you wouldn't enjoy it!" He undressed, closed the curtain and walked into the bath tub as hot water soaked him.

"God he makes me feel awkward." Said Gaige to herself.

"Excuse me?" Asked Veronica. "Who exactly makes you feel awkward?"

"Oh uh no body! What are you even doing out here?"

"This is my new room. I'm just enjoying some fresh air after reading a bit. What are you doing here?"

"Sid asked me to grab his luggage."

"I feel a connection going between you and Sid. Do you like him?"

"No! I don't!"

"He called you a hot nurse earlier and you calmed him down so easily after his rant. There's something going on."

"I… He…" She couldn't think of an excuse so she gave up and told Veronica the truth. "Alright I might like him just a bit. But you can't tell him! What if he doesn't like me?"

"He called you a hot nurse."

"He could be teasing you know. Anyways I have to bring the luggage to him like he requested. So goodbye." Veronica waved goodbye as she went back to her room. When she got there, she knocked on the bathroom door.

"Who is it?" asked Sid.

"It's me Sid. I got your luggage here."

"Oh. Just leave it inside." She walked into the bathroom and left the luggage there. After 10 minutes, Sid turned off the shower and dressed into jeans, white sneakers with long black socks and a plain black shirt with two red demonic eyes and a sadistic smile in the middle of it. "How do I look?"

"You don't look like a cowboy anymore. What's with the creepy looking face on your shirt?"

"It's a shirt of this old heavy metal band that my dad showed me. Sadly it didn't come with the name on it and I don't remember the band name. I didn't even get the songs in my echo."

"Oh man. Would have been sweet if you did."

"I didn't know you had a taste in such heavy metal which is an awesome genre."

"You haven't noticed the posters on my wall then," she said, pointing at her anarchy posters.

"Oh yeah." Sid scratched his head as he saw the many posters from earlier.

"Can you go now? I have to shower too." Right as Sid was going to make a joke to mess with her, he felt that another one would equal a slap to his face.

"Quick question, where's a washing machine for me to use?"

"Down in my basement."

"Ok thanks."

* * *

While Sid was washing his outfit, Jackal made it back to Opportunity with an extremely angry growling noise emanating from his helmet. After a long walk, he entered the giant underground cavern. He walked through a Hyperion construction team and entered another door.

"Ding dong!" he yelled knocking on the door. The door opened with the other 4 generals conversing over a game of cards and Jenkins sitting on a chair, laying his boots on a table.

"What the fuck is that smell?" asked Leslie pinching his nose.

"It smells like something died 15 times." said Jenkins.

"Colonel must have passed gas." said Pride giggling.

"It wasn't me this time." argued Colonel. Jackal growled at their comments. "Someone piss in your cereal Jacky boy?"

"I GOT RAPED BY BULLYMONGS! WHAT DO YOU THINK?" They all dropped their cards and burst in laughter including Jenkins. "ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!"

"I'm sorry I lost my composure, but that's hilarious!" replied Jenkins, laughing so hard that he could barely breathe.

"GRRRRRRRRAAAHHHHH!" Jackal was infuriated by the thought of being raped by a group of bullymongs.

"That might explain why your armor is covered in white!" said Colonel laughing as well. Jackal slammed his hammer down trying to make them stop but they still continued. "Hey guys when is the O'Mally show?"

"In a few minutes, but why does that matter to you?" asked Pride. "We're playing poker. TV would just distract us."

"Actually I need a good laugh after having to deal with some stress. That mutant psycho blew up one of my shipments again. I'm getting pretty tired of those slabs ruining my operations back at Thousand Cuts." Jenkins took the remote from a small cabinet in the table and turned the flat screen TV behind him on. He skipped some channels until he was at the Comedy Nexus channel. After a few minutes of annoying infomercials the show began. A tan 6'1 man with brown eyes, black hair neatly combed back, a small stubble of facial hair on his face and a tuxedo walked out as the audience in the background cheered.

"Welcome everyone to the O'Mally show. I'm your host, Joseph O'Mally! In only 4 hours, I was sent a shit ton of hilarious clips from the EchoNet and we shall start with the one that went viral which is titled "Giant Jerk Bag meets Bullymong crap" which has skyrocketed with 30 million views in the past 2 hours!" All the Hyperion generals placed there cards on the table again and looked at the large flat screen TV behind Jenkins. Jenkins also turned his chair to watch the clip. The clip showed Jackal screaming as laughter was heard in the background and bullymongs jumped on Jackal, integrating with him. The generals laughed as hard as they can but Jenkins stopped. He turned the TV off to stay focused.

"That one voice that's laughing sounds familiar. Who was there?"

"Some stupid cowboy, a midget, a Dahl military man and a man that looks like Shadric with a blue sword." Shadric stopped laughing as he heard 'Cowboy'.

"That means that kid from the HQ is still alive. I calculated through every situation that he'd bleed out. Unless they patched him up right after… Damn it!" Shadric was enraged since he didn't kill the cowboy when he had the chance. "Oh well… I'm going to do some research on this cowboy to see what pops up." He left the room as the 3 other generals continued laughing.

"ENOUGH!" yelled Jackal, finally causing the troopers to stop laughing.

"What's wrong Jackal, I thought you love the idea of making love with your own species." joked Leslie.

"Silence woman!" yelled Jackal.

"Woman?!"He pulled a nuclear grenade out from his belt. "I'll show you who's the fucking woman when I shove this nuclear bomb down your pants gorilla!" Jackal grabbed the grenade and crushed it between his hands. Leslie froze in amazement as he crushed the explosive with his hands and he didn't take a scratch. "H-How…"

"Puny grenades can't hurt me!" said Jackal.

"Wait Leslie, you said that was nuclear?" asked Jenkins.

"Oh crud I just forgot it was nuclear." said Leslie face palming himself.

"Initiate protocol R4-C." said Jenkins. Foam from the ceiling hit covered everyone.

"AH MY BEAUTIFUL FACE IS GOING TO BE RUINED BY THIS FOAM!" yelled Pride.

"Quit pissing yourself Pride." said Jenkins.

"I wonder if I should eat this." said Colonel, holding a piece of foam in his hand.

"Colonel don't!" yelled Jenkins. He lifted his helmet up and swallowed the foam.

"Wow my stomach hurts like hell right now." said Colonel. Seconds later, he wrapped his arms around his stomach and puked on the floor as Jenkins shook his head left and right in disappointment.

"I still wonder why those scientists chose you for the experiments rather than any other Hyperion trooper because you're dumber than a Goliath."

"No I'm not! I know what 1 plus 1 is! It's 3!" Jenkins shook his head even more as he got the math problem wrong. Water soaked the men and high pressure air hit them as well after the water cleared the foam off them.

"The radiation should be gone from the area." said Jenkins. "Anyways Pride, I need you to make me a machine of mass destruction for future use." He grabbed out a blueprint and spread it out on the table as Pride came over and looked at it.

"The B1G-J0HN50N? I'm going to need a lot of materials and time to make something this massive."

"Can you at least do it?" asked Jenkins. Pride nodded.

"I just need some time to finish this, a few weeks or so if I had the materials."

"Why are you making a big dick?" asked Colonel. The men burst out in laughter as Jenkins had a slightly angry face.

"For fucks sake Colonel, it's a giant loader of mass destruction." replied Jenkins. "Named after some story villain a kid made back at a planet called Ee-Arf?"

"It's pronounced Earth." said Pride. "The planet that everyone used to live in before The Armageddon War. Or WWIII which started back at 2050."

"Is it still going?" asked Leslie.

"Sadly yes. Earth is still a hellhole and that's why planets like Eden-5 exist. Though I'd prefer Eden-6 for the hot chicks! The gazongas on those ladies are huge!"

"If you're done your history lesson then I'd like to explain the reason I named it that." said Jenkins. Pride was silent for a few seconds. "Good. Now this kid heard about the vault hunters and such. Then he made his little sequel to the damn story. He made this villain named Johnson, forgot the first name but he was the leader of Hyperion like me yet more patient. I'd be more patient yet Colonel always pisses me off with his stupidity."

"I'm not stupid!" argued Colonel.

"Of course you're not!" said Jenkins sarcastically. "You're just special."

"Yaaaay I'm special," said Colonel clapping like an idiot.

"OMG you really are stupid." said Pride.

"What's OMG?" said Colonel.

"ANYWAYS! I made it a reference to a man who never existed." said Jenkins. "But if he did I can tell we'd be great partners! But he doesn't."

"Sir I've detected the Tainted clan is attacking one of our outposts in the Highlands." said the Hyperion engineer through his echo.

"Fantastic." Jenkins took a cigar out from his pocket and lit it with a golden lighter. "You guys head to the Highlands and deal with whatever's going on. I'll be here smoking. Oh and bring Shade with you guys before you leave."

"Alright boss." said Pride. "You heard the man, let's move out!"

* * *

Back at Sanctuary a few minutes before the event at the Opportunity, Zero was watching TV in what used to be Dr. Tannis's quarters in the Hyperion HQ. It was cleared out making space for a TV, a couch and some extra space for any other decorations for the future. Gaige had finished her shower and Sid was with Zero waiting for the O'Mally show patiently like Zero. The show finally started and Gaige walked inside wearing a red short sleeve shirt with an anarchy symbol in the middle, shorts and flip flops.

"What are you two up to?" she asked curiously.

"Waiting for the show to begin." replied Sid. "Why the change in apparel?"

"My regular clothing reeks of motor oil which I don't mind but others might not say the same. Why did you ask?"

"Because you look hotter than before." teased Sid making Gaige blush. Zero made a heart emoticon over his face.

"Quit it Zero." said Gaige. "Anyways, mind if I sit next to you Sid?"

"You like him a lot/ Don't try to hide your feelings/ You should date him Gaige."

"I'm right here you know." said Sid.

"I know." said the ninja with an evil smile emoticon over his face.

"Zip it!" yelled Gaige. Zero does a hand motion, making it look like he's zipping his lips. "Anyways, mind if I sit next to you Sid?"

"After that whole awkward conversation, I'm not sure." replied Sid.

"I just want to watch some TV with you guys. I got nothing better to do since DT is up to date on technology."

"If you say so." said Sid. She sat on Sid's right side and the show commercials ended.

"Welcome everyone to the O'Mally show. I'm your host, Joseph O'Mally! In only 4 hours, I was sent a shit ton of hilarious clips from the Echonet and we shall start with the one that went viral which is titled "Giant Jerk Bag meets Bullymong crap" which has skyrocketed with 30 million views in the past 2 hours!" Zero and Sid looked at each other as they know it was the clip from earlier. The clip like last time showed Jackal getting raped by bullymongs as he screamed with his deep voice. They laughed uncontrollably as they watched and Gaige snorted very loud as she did. They both stopped laughing as they both looked at her. She had an embarrassed look on her face.

"Did... Did you just snort?" asked Sid.

"Y-yes." she admitted.

"Don't be embarrassed about it." said Sid trying to make her feel better. Right as she was going to lose the embarrassed look, Axton barged in.

"I heard a pig somewhere!" yelled Axton. "Where is it?"

"There's no pig Axton." replied Sid.

"I swore I heard an oink or something… Wait a second it was you wasn't it Gaige?"

"No it wasn't!" defended Gaige.

"Ha-ha! Nerd!" Axton laughed as Gaige's embarrassed face came back. Maya walked in a few minutes later.

"What's so funny Axton?" asked Maya.

"He's making fun of how I snort when I laugh by calling me a nerd." said Gaige.

"Oh really? I snort when I laugh too Axton. Does that make me a nerd?" Maya gave him an angry stare.

"Oh uh no! Not you! Because you're hotter!" Axton had no decent excuses and Maya phase locked him. "Put me down damn it!"

"If you wish," said Maya, moving her arm down as Axton hit the ground, cringing in major pain.

"Owwww…." Axton said with pain in his tone. "So… much… pain…"

"That'll teach you jerk!" said Gaige. Axton slowly stood up, muttering in anger as he walked back to his room. "Anyways, it looks like it's finally night time so I can get a decent sleep compared to day."

"Yeah I've noticed that it's been daytime for a while." said Sid. "At least on Eden-5, the days and nights were close to the 24 hour galactic clock."

"Yeah." said Gaige. "Anyways I'm going to get some shut eye, see you guys tomorrow." She walked out as Sid just remembered he needed a place to sleep.

"Well shit." thought Sid. "Looks like I'm sleeping outside tonight." He walked outside of Dr. Tannis's room and laid his head on the floor. The discomfort of not being in a soft cushion of a pillow was making him angry but he did his best to still feel positive. "Well I don't have to deal with Veronica and Mikey's bickering so this couldn't get any worse." As he thought that, it began raining in Sanctuary which was a rare sight indeed. "Fan fucking tastic! There goes my intention of sleeping!" The loud thunder and rain made it impossible for Sid to sleep, so he stared into the sky as droplets of rain hit his face over and over. "I can't do this. I'd better see if there's any space with the other vault hunters." He went back to where Zero was and asked him if he had some space that Sid could sleep in. "Hey Z-"

"No." replied Zero.

"K." Sid walked away thinking Maya might be a better idea. He knocks on Maya's door waiting patiently. The door slowly opens and he's frightened as he sees Maya. "AHH! A GHOST!" Maya's face was covered in a white cream and she glared at Sid.

"It's makeup." she said. "Now what do you want?"

"I got nowhere to sleep so I'm wondering if you got somewhere I could sleep in by any chance?"

"Sorry but no. Now if you excuse me, I need some beauty sleep." She slammed the door closed and Sid walked away.

"Axton wouldn't do it because he's an asshole and I wouldn't ask Salvador since he makes me feel pretty uncomfortable. That leaves Gaige. She probably wouldn't mind." He went into Gaige's room which had the door open; he went upstairs and knocked on Gaige's room.

"Who is it?" she asked.

"It's Sid." She quickly unlocked the door looking like she did earlier.

"What brings you here to my humble abode?"

"After losing what was my room to my siblings, I have nowhere to stay. I asked the other vault hunters aside from Axton and Salvador if they had a place I could sleep in but they said no. So here I am, asking you."

"I don't have any extra beds so if you do want to stay, you'll have to share with me if you don't mind. Oh and your luggage is where you left it, in my bathroom."

"Yeah I forgot about taking it with me. My fault." Gaige acted normal about him sleeping with her but in her head she was quite exhilarated. Sid on the other hand felt the same but not as much as Gaige. Sid took his shoes and socks off while Gaige took her flip flops off and placed them near the bed. They both wrapped themselves with the blanket and shared the pillow. Gaige looked right at Sid while he looked the opposite direction. While they slept, Sid had a nightmare about his parent's funeral. It was a rainy day. Veronica and Sid were in tears while Mikey was still happy.

"When will we get ice cream you guys?" asked Mikey in a cheerful voice.

"We can now." she said in a sad tone.

"Why are we even here guys?" asked Mikey.

"We had to meet someone here but he never showed." said Sid obviously lying. "You guys wait in the car; I need to pay my final respects."

"Final wha?" Veronica grabbed Mikey and Sid took his hat off. He stood in front of two gravestones. Right as he was about to leave, he heard a voice in his head.

"Monster…" the deep and evil voice whispered. "Monster…" Sid wondered where the voice was emanating and he walked closer to the grave of his father. The voice in his head became louder. "Monster..." Sid laid his head near the ground and the voice screamed. "MONSTERRRR!" Sid tried running away but a decaying hand grabbed him by the ankle. More hands grabbed him down into the ground. He tried screaming for help but it was useless as the hands brought him down too fast. He screamed until the hands finally buried him into the ground. He woke up screaming in fear after the nightmare.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed, waking up Gaige.

"Sid are you ok?" she asked in a worried voice.

"I'm fine." he said.

"I'm worried about you and your nightmares. What was the nightmare anyways?"

"Funeral… Parents… Hands… the hands buried me under the dirt…" he said in a dark tone. "I'll be fine. You don't need to worry about it."

"That's a harsh dream. Are you sure there's nothing you want me to do?" she asked.

"I'll be fine Gaige." Gaige still wanted to help him even if he said he was ok. "Let's just go back to sleep." Sid went back to sleep while Gaige was still worried. It took her a while to finally sleep and Sid's mind was at peace again for the night.


	9. Chapter 8 A Box Full Of Troubles

Chapter 8 A Box Full Of Troubles

Sid finally woke up after a long night while Gaige on the other hand was still asleep. Looking out from the window to the left of him, it was dawn. He estimated he was out longer then a normal 24 hour day as his stomach was in unbearable pain. He was dying for breakfast so he shook Gaige to wake her up for the two to eat something.

"Daddy I don't want to go to school…" she whispered.

"She's sleep talking again." Sid thought. He shook her harder causing her to fall out of the bed.

"Ow!" she yelled as she woke up.

"Uh whoops."

"What the hell was that for?" she said as she stood up.

"I'm hungry and of course I don't have any money at all. So I decided to wake you up so me and you could grab some breakfast."

"Well I suppose. But why'd you push me out of my own bed?"

"I shook you and you wouldn't wake up Ms. Sleeptalker. Something about not wanting to go to school?"

"Yeah… Anyways let's just grab some breakfast before I doze off."

"Wait… My pancake senses are tingling."

"Pancakes on Pandora? When skags fly... Oh wait they can after the whole Zed experiment."

"You really need to keep that guy in line. His experiments are freaky."

"Apparently from what the old Vault hunters told me, his brother made a zombie army. Then he died twice."

"Gaige, how does someone die twice?"

"He turned himself into a zombie. And that's pretty much it."

"Ok... Anyways like I said I smell pancakes. My nose doesn't lie to me."

"Trust me Sid but pancakes don't exist on Pandora." Then the aroma of flapjacks entered their room. "Actually I think I do smell pancakes. But from where?" Sid hopped out of the bed and they both went downstairs to see two empty plates with a fork and knife next to each one on the table and each chair was pulled back. Also a bottle of syrup and another plate of flapjacks in between the two plates. "I think I'm still dreaming or I'm hallucinating."

"I can see it too… I'm not sure if my mind is playing games."

"It's not a mind game." said a familiar voice.

"Veronica?" said Sid. "You made these? But how? Tannis's room doesn't have a stove."

"Space magic." joked Veronica.

"Wha?"

"I'm kidding Sid. There's a stove here and I wanted to make some breakfast for you two."

"Gee thanks." replied Sid. "Any specific reason why?"

"I'd thought I'd be polite for a cute couple like you two."

"We're not a couple!" Gaige and Sid said at the same time.

"Of course you're not. Then why were you sleeping together last night?"

"Veronica, you know I wouldn't sleep with a nag like you. I asked the other Vault Hunters yet they rejected. I didn't ask two since one of them made me feel uncomfortable and the other one's a dick."

"Right... After breakfast, I need to see Gaige if that isn't a problem." Veronica said.

"Ok sure." Gaige replied.

"Where'd you get the ingredients for breakfast though?" asked Sid.

"I brought them with me. I knew you'd die without the taste of pancakes and other types of food. So I brought some ingredients with me incase this planet didn't have them. Some of them I stored in Gaige's fridge just so it wouldn't spoil."

"Whoa hold on. Don't tell me you're going to move in here next."

"I'm not Sid but I had to store these somewhere and since I know Gaige better than the others I thought she wouldn't mind."

"I don't mind." Gaige said. "At least we can eat something that's normal food instead of something I'm forced to eat to survive."

"Stalker sandwich isn't that bad. I don't know what you're talking about." Sid defended.

"For my taste buds, it's not really that appetizing especially when you eat it a crap ton of times." Gaige replied.

"I'll leave you two love birds alone." Veronica said.

"We're not love birds!" Gaige and Sid said yet again at the same time.

"Whatever. I'll see you two around." Veronica said walking back to her room.

"Gosh your sister makes me feel awkward too." Gaige said.

"I make you feel awkward?" Sid asked.

"Yes! On several occasions!"

"Well sorry. Let's just eat some pancakes hot stuff." Sid said. Gaige just stares at him in silence. "I'm kidding. You're way to sensitive." He took 9 pancakes and poured syrup all over them, leaving 3 for Gaige.

"9 pancakes? Isn't that a little bit too much?"

"Trust me I can eat 9 with ease." Sid wolfed them down in a matter of minutes while Gaige was frozen in amazement.

"Where does it all go? I mean you're way to skinny to eat like that."

"Fast metabolism does wonders." Sid replied. "Now are you going to eat those?"

"Yes! And how are you still hungry?"

"Give me a break, I haven't eaten any real food in a while!"

"Ok..." Gaige slowly ate after losing part of her appetite while Sid went upstairs to play around with his guitar. After she finished she went upstairs to grab her flip flops.

"Where are you going Gaige?" Sid asked.

"Veronica wanted to see me."

"Oh yeah. Forgot about that." Gaige walked to Veronica's room to see Mikey sleeping and Veronica sitting on their bed.

"So you've made it." said Veronica.

"Yeah, what did you want me for?" Gaige asked.

"Well since you're so anxious about Sid I think you should know a few things about his past."

"He already told me about his past. Including the… sad parts."

"Yeah… Aside from that, did he ever tell you he used to be a super nerd?"

"What?"

"You heard me Gaige. He used to be a super nerd."

"He seems way too cute to be a super nerd. He doesn't have buck teeth, he's tall-"

"So you do have a thing for my older brother. That's odd."

"What do you mean that's odd?"

"Why would you like a jerk like my brother?"

"Sid's not a jerk!"

"You should see the trouble my brother has made on Eden-5. Robbing banks, hitting people with his guitar, threatening people and a lot of vandalism. Also he gets on my nerves almost all the time. Shall I go on?"

"Big whoop! I've done worse. I accidently killed a student at my school at the science fair but she totally deserved it."

"Wait you killed someone at school? With what?" Gaige lifted her arm and DeathTrap digistructed.

"With this. This is DT."

"Oh my god… You made that?"

"Yep."

"Digistruct claws, thermal sonic lasers. This is some excellent craftsmanship! It's so advanced!"

"Wow I didn't know you knew a thing about robots."

"Yep. All because of Sid."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"He tortured me when I was 6 years old."

"WHAT?"

"As in he wouldn't let me watch 'My Little Pony' unless I read one of his complicated text books and passed some worksheet he gave me with 100%. What did you think I meant?"

"Uhhhhh… Yeah just forget I said that."

"Ok…"

"Sorry. That's what you start thinking when you live on a hostile planet of Pandora for so long." Suddenly a clock goes off and DeathTrap gets ready for combat as it hears the clock go off.

"IT'S TORGUE O'CLOCK! WAKE UP YOU BADASS MOTHERF*CKER!"

"What the hell is that!?" Gaige said, covering her ears. "Why do I hear Mr. Torgue? Did he just leave the badass crater?" The kid awoke and hit the clock turning the alarm off. "Oh it was an alarm clock. No need to fret DT." DeathTrap stands by and he fades into the ground.

"Mikey how many times do I have to tell you to turn that clock off?"

"Until you get rid of those pussy pony posters, NO!"

"Don't use that type of language in front of me Mikey!"

"Sorry!" he said cowering.

"Ok… No wonder he didn't want to sleep with you." Gaige said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Veronica asked.

"Well… To put this without being a total jerk… You're kind of cranky."

"Me? Cranky? Please I'm a pretty nice person."

"I can tell." Gaige says in sarcasm. Back at Gaige's place, Sid begins getting real bored playing his guitar.

"Screw this." Sid put his guitar down, slides his socks on and laces his sneakers. "I'm going to look around the place a bit more. I should probably look in the basement since that is where Gaige always works on DT." He climbs down into the basement to see a big room covered in oil, with tools on the wall, a washing machine and a dryer in a corner. "Oh right I could grab my clothes while I'm here too." He opened the dryer and grabbed his coat and hat. "Good thing this hat is washable even with the technology it's infused with." He wore the hat and wore his partly torn up coat. "Yeah I need the holes on this coat fixed."

Suddenly Sid notices a yellow box like figure which looks like it came right out of Hyperion. "Wait a second… Isn't this little guy the robot from the Robolution? That event clouded the news for weeks afterwards. I thought they were discontinued after that." Sid plays around with the circuitry and it turns on.

"Viva la Robolution! Viva free Pandora! Viva some third awesome thing."

"Looks like I still got some nerd in me! Now how the hell do I turn this thing back off?" Then an idea pops in his head. "I have a better idea; I could play around with the programing just to screw with Axton for tying me to a friggin chair. But first let me see what settings he has in it's memory." Sid grabbed the small robot and took a screw driver and began messing with his circuits even more. While he did so, Claptrap's voice slowly switched from English to Spanish.

"Hola, mi nombre es Claptrap."

"Too Spanish." He moved the screwdriver around.

"Hello fair sir. I am the CL4P-TP unit." it said in a gentleman's accent. "But you sir can call me Claptrap."

"No. Acts like a gentleman so that would annoy me more than it would annoy Axton." He plays with the circuits even more, spinning the screwdriver.

"Viva la Robolution!"

"Not this setting again!" He moved the screwdriver around again.

"Minion!"

"Too annoying and bossy." He twists the screwdriver again and moves around some wires.

"I have the need! The need! TO SEED!"

"Perfect. Since this is an old tech robot, I think I should be able to hack this things programming with my echo if I can find some parts to control it using radio waves." He looks around to find a small antenna on the small robot. After a few minutes, he manages to get the Echo synced with Claptrap's antenna, meaning he'd have control. He tinkers with the robot's programming in order to control the robot via vocals "Now this function is connected to, that function…" he sang to himself. After 5 minutes, he manages to make Claptrap listen to his vocals. "Recognize this voice!"

"Yeeessss master!" the robot said.

"Good. It's time to show Axton whose boss." The setting the robot was on made him oil when it was 'Turned on' which Sid was able to control now through the use of his echo. "I should only do it to that ass when he's asleep. But it's still morning, maybe he still is. He walked into Axton's room to see him in bed, wrapped in his bed sheets.

"Oh Sarah, I didn't know you were so flexible…" Axton said who was having sexual fantasies of his ex-wife.

"He's dreaming about sex? Awkwarrrrrd... Regardless this is going to be a funny way to wake him up. Claptrap, seed all over that man's face!"

"YES SIR!" it said. It hugged Axton's face.

"Oh Sarah what are you doing!" The robot began oiling all over Axton's face. "Oh yeah! Keep it up Sarah!"

"I'm not sure if Axton having a sexual fantasy is a bonus to watching this just to see his reaction when he wakes up. But still it's creepy as hell watching this go down." The small robot began humping Axton's face as oil poured all over him.

"OH YEAH BABY!" Axton's sheets darkened around his lower region.

"Jesus. That's disgusting!" Sid yelled as Axton finally began waking up, he was furious to see the small robot in his eyesight.

"WHAT THE HELL!" He grabbed the Claptrap and threw it across the floor. Oil dripped from his face as he wiped the oil from his eyes. Oil dripped from his face as he wiped the it from his eyes. He saw Sid on the floor laughing hysterically. "WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE BANDIT?!"

"Vengeance! For tying me to a chair."

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" He reaches under his bed for his Slag Veruc but he was interrupted.

"Ah ah ah! Temper Temper! I can tell everyone about your wet dreams."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me." While the two were arguing, Claptrap wakes up but sadly his antenna was damaged, meaning Sid's echo was now longer controlling the perverted little robot. He wheeled out of the room looking for 'Womanz to intergratez with' in his perverted slang. He went into Maya's room while she was fast asleep while she was having one of her own fantasies. "Wait where'd that robot go?"

"I lost track arguing with you."

"We better look for him. The fact he left the room without me telling it to just says you hitting the robot broke his antenna or something." A worried look grows on his face. "What if he goes into Veronica's room? We have to stop it!"

"Why are you worried? It will probably spam crap about minions, losing its friends and blah blah blah."

"No it won't"

"What do you mean it won't?"

"I messed around with some preset settings he had."

"Preset? What do you mean?"

"He had some settings before I messed with it. I left him on the most perverted setting I could find."

"You idiot." Suddenly they hear the sound of somebody moaning erotically.

"What the fuck? Sounds like it's coming from Maya's. Does she sleep with anyone?"

"Hell no. She's too much of a bitch to even have a boyfriend."

"We need to check her room. Perv bot might get its clappers on her."

"I wouldn't mind getting my clappers on her too."

"FOCUS!"

"Alright. You should go in and stop the bot before it does things."

"If that happens then we're screwed."

"We're? You're the one who woke it up. It's your problem."

"Thanks for your support dick." Sid said in sarcasm.

"You're welcome! But personally I say let her, she needs to get off anyways."

"Hell no! Let's hurry up before she murders me!"

"That's the idea." Sid flipped him off and ran as fast as he could.

"Comon... Harder... Deeper...That's the spot…" Maya said in her sleep.

"Oh sweet mamasita! GAZONGAS! On the count of three I will grab them. THREE!" The little pervert jumped on her bed, ready to grab her breasts. "There so big. They're like soft pillows of joy. MUST TOUCH!" Sid ran in and grabbed the tiny robot by its right clapper. "Let go of me damn it! Those gazongas need me!"

"I'm about to go…" Maya said, moaning harder and harder.

"Let me go she's asking for it!" begged the little robot. Maya woke up screaming in ecstasy, breathing hard and sweaty.

"Oh my god I can't watch this." Sid said, covering his eyes with his other arm.

"Oh god that was so amazing…" Maya said rubbing her eyes. She opened them to see Sid holding Claptrap up. "What the hell? What are you doing here Sid? And why is Claptrap here?"

"This guy was trying to have some fun with you in your sleep. I stopped it before it got the chance."

"And I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you!" the robot said, pointing it's left arm at Sid.

"Why is it even on?" Maya asked.

"It's on because I was using it for a little prank on Axton which worked." Axton walks in the room dressed in his Dahl outfit.

"Did you take care of the problem?"

"Yeah squirtle. I dealt with it."

"HEY! I thought you said you wouldn't say a thing!"

"Like Maya would care."

"Whoa why is Maya so sweaty?" Axton asked.

"I was getting to that. She-"

"Don't tell him!" Maya yelled.

"Don't tell me what?" Axton asked in curiosity.

"Nothing at all!" Sid said nervously.

"Wait a second… She was moaning earlier… and your sheets look wet… Oh I see what's going on!"

"You have no room to talk squirtle." Maya said, giggling.

"Shut up!" Axton yelled in rage.

"You two work it out; I have a robot to deal with." Sid walked out dragging the robot on the ground. He went toward the edge of Sanctuary near Moxxi's bar and looked down. "Oh god that's a long drop!" Sid fell back in fear as his fear of heights kicked in. "Why did it have to be a flying city? Why couldn't it be a city underwater? Or on the surface?"

"LET ME GO! I WANT MY GAZONGAS!" the robot screamed.

"Ok buddy. There's plenty of gazongas down there."

"Really?"

"Yeah really." He placed the robot down on the ground and punted it. "Peasoup biatch!"

"GAZONGAS!" it screamed as it went down.

"What was that irritating noise?" said a man in a gentleman's voice. Sid turned around to see a dapper gentleman with a large mustache, an adventurer's outfit, a robotic arm, leg and eye.

"That was uhh me practicing for a play black at Eden-5."

"That voice sounded a lot like that annoying lunch box on wheels known as Claptrap."

"Like I said. Just me practicing."

"Right. Now allow me to introduce myself. I am Sir Hammerlock. At your service!"

"You're the guy who talked to the Vault hunters about bullymong fecal matter. I owe you one."

"Ah yes, I saw your exploits on the O'Malley show. Good job with that general."

"Thanks. Anyways my name is Sid. Nice to meet you."

"Anyways, I have to go back to polishing my rifle if you will. Farewell my new comrade." Hammerlock went back into the bar.

"There you are!" Gaige said.

"Oh hey Gaige." Sid said.

"I've heard about the chaos you've caused."

"Yeah…"

"What did you even do?"

"I saw an old Claptrap unit in your basement. I turned it on and did some reprogramming to prank Axton. Turns out, Axton and Maya have wet dreams but don't tell them I said that or they'll kill me."

"You're kidding right?"

"I wish I was."

"Why are you even telling me this? What if someone eavesdrops on us?" she whispered.

"Amigos! I heard the most annoying sound just now." Salvador said barging in. "It sounded like Claptrap."

"It was but I punted it off of Sanctuary. Don't tell Hammerlock."

"Wait I thought it was broken?" Salvador said.

"I fixed it up but I kept it offline just in case Hyperion tried using another deterrence field." Gaige stated. "Now that you punted him off, that plan is gone."

"Sorry about that Gaige."

"It's alright Sid. Hopefully we won't need the little robot."

"Now that my vengeance has been fed, I might just play with my guitar or something."

"Or you could help me tweak DT a bit."

"Huh?"

"Veronica told me that you used to be a nerd before your whole cowboy phase. So if you want you could help me."

"I guess it wouldn't bite."

* * *

Meanwhile, the generals were sitting at the highlands as they saw bandits roaming what used to be the Hyperion outpost until the tainted took out the Hyperion troops there.

"How the hell did our troopers get taken down by dumbass bandits?" Leslie asked.

"Beats me man." Pride replied. "But if you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself. Now let's get this shiz done with." He pauses as he hears an annoying robot voice screaming. "Wait does anyone else here a cybernetic voice screaming?"

"Yeah I hear it." Colonel said looking around.

"What are noise?" asked a Goliath as he also heard the noise. Suddenly a Claptrap unit falls on his head, knocking his helmet off. The claptrap unit landed right on its head, which moved some circuits around. The goliath however was becoming angry. "Soooo angry… SO GOD DAMN ANGRY!" The Goliath attacked what used to be his friends as he crushed one of them with his fist.

"How about we just let the Goliath do all the work?" Pride asked.

"I want to crush them!" Jackal shouted. The goliath made swift work of the psychos, marauders, nomads and others. By the end of its murder spree, it was double its original size due to it killing all those guys. The giant noticed the 5 generals sitting there and he ran toward them. Shade ran at it with his sword wielded but the goliath was already dead right as he cut his head off.

"What? He's already dead?"

"I got bored." Colonel commented wielding an Invader sniper rifle. "Sorry Shade."

"Sir I got the files you requested!" interrupted a Hyperion trooper through Shade's echo.

"Tell me about the cowboy." Shade demanded.

"His legal name is William Syncia but to most people including his family he is known as Sid. He lost his parents who were Dahl military. They died in a firefight with Atlas on Pandora, leaving the family with him and two siblings."

"Details on the siblings?" Shade asked.

"His little brother Michael Syncia is known on Eden-5 for creating explosives beyond military grade."

"Interesting!" Leslie said. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Then there's his younger sister Veronica Syncia and… I can't focus because I'm more busy looking at her picture then reading the damn info on her."

"Show me what she looks like!" Pride demanded. Shade showed him a picture of Veronica and Pride was in amazement. "Wow… She makes the girls at Eden-6 look average! The hooters, the ass, the looks. She is fucking perfect!"

"Pervert!" Colonel yelled.

"Shut up!" Pride shouted. "Anyways how old is she?"

"From the reports, she's only 18. They are currently stationed here at Pandora from the info we gathered."

"So she's most likely a virgin!" Pride said in excitement. "I just want to put my face between her breasts and just motorboat her!" He made noises as he shook his face left and right.

"That's enough Pride." Shade said with his hand on his helmet. "And I thought Colonel did some weird shit."

"I sent you all the details on them at your terminal back at HQ Shade since I just gave you a summary."

"Thanks for the info." Shade replied. The Claptrap stood up and the generals looked at it.

"A Claptrap. Weren't they discontinued after the Robolution?"

"Yes Colonel they were." Leslie replied.

"Oh crap! Hyperion! Where's my minions when I need them!"

"Wanna shoot it?" Colonel asked.

"Well it did do our job for us so let's leave the robot here." Leslie stated. "It has no real value aside from being scrap metal and being annoying as hell." The generals roamed away as the robot boxed itself in fear. When they left Claptrap unboxed itself.

"So lonely." The robot said to itself. "If only my minions were here to help me…" No shits were given that moment since everyone in Sanctuary hated Claptrap.


End file.
